


A boy under the Sun

by Sparkling_Archangel



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, Spacedogs - Fandom
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dom Adam, Dom/Sub AU, Dom/sub, M/M, Sub Nigel, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29094780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkling_Archangel/pseuds/Sparkling_Archangel
Summary: Unfortunate events lead Nigel into New York facility for problematic subs, and he probably should have seen it coming. He would do anything to get out, except getting a fucking dom. And no dom would want him anyway, because he is not at all a typical sub.Enters Adam, not a typical dom either.
Relationships: Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki
Comments: 49
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My new Spacedogs longfic, one year after Stardust Chocolate! (But it’s not linked at all)
> 
> It’s a Dom/Sub AU, in a world where everyone is a neutral, a dom or a sub. 
> 
> Adam’s sensory issues and autism specificities are not detailed a lot into the movie, so I based them on mines, as I am an autistic person (asperger) too. 
> 
> English is not my native language and this work is not beta-read. I apologize in advance for the mistakes
> 
> Warnings: Nigel swears all the time. Mentions of alcohol and drugs but no actual use
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this story!

Nigel growled.

Like a lot of stories, this one started with a hangover.

Nigel woke up slowly, opening his eyes only to be blind by the light. He closed them again. His head was hurting, and his right arm, and his muscles were aching, and also his back, and more or less everything.

Hell, even his hair was hurting. That was really a fucking strong hangover.

Except that Nigel didn’t even remember having drank. He didn’t remember a party, or having done drugs, or even just having a few drinks at a bar. He remembered having met Darko in the evening, having talked with him and maybe having punched some guys that were going a little too close of their business, and nothing else. He didn’t have the taste of old alcohol in the mouth, or the smell of it on his clothes and in the air. He had a weird and undefined taste in his mouth, and the place was smelling only like cleanliness and detergent.

His body was badly craving for a cigarette or two, meaning he was probably out since a few hours.

Two voices, somewhere, were lightly chatting. Too far for Nigel to understand what they were saying.

He opened his eyes again, trying to protect himself from the awful light with his arm.

Where was he?

He was laying on a thin mattress on the floor, he could see grey walls and a strong white lamp attached to the ceiling. That was not familiar at all.

He turned his head and saw metallic bars. A cell. That, at least, was familiar. He had no memories of an encounter with the cops, or of any event in the last hours that could have brought him there. Except having fought with these guys interfering in his business, but that was not something exceptional, so it was probably not related to his current situation.

He could feel something around his neck, something thick and sturdy. He passed his hands on it, trying to know what it was. It seemed to be a kind of a collar, and there was some bruises on his skin just underneath.

So, what? What had happened? Who had put that fucking thing around his neck? And what the fucking hell was he fucking doing in a fucking cell?

Nigel sighed and slowly sat on the mattress, the head spinning. The only thing he could see from this place was another small cell in front of his own, after a narrow corridor, but this one was empty.

Maybe the two people that he could still hear chatting in the distance would know. Nigel got up, swearing in his head and insulting like crazy whoever was in charge there, and hold onto the bars to not fall. Alcohol or drug or whatever was still in his system, it was fucking strong.

Even standing up, he couldn’t see very far. He was ready to yell to obtain answers from whoever was there, despite his headache, but didn’t get the time to do it.

“Oh, look! He’s awake!” A voice said, followed by quick footsteps.

Two smiling people, a man and a woman, appeared in front of the cell. They were both wearing a kind of light grey uniform Nigel didn’t know, and he was sure he had never seen them in his entire life.

“Where the fuck am I?” He spat.

“You are not supposed to swear like that.” The man said with a blaming tone.

“Oh, let him swear for now. He is just waking up and is probably all messed up from his long sleep and the sedation, that’s all.” The woman assured.”Stay calm. What is your last memory before falling asleep?”

“Just tell me where the fuck I am and what’s going on, or I swear it’s going to turn bloody very soon here.”

“I guess that what’s written on his papers was true.” The woman said to her coworker.

“Yeah, it seems so. I was very surprised too, first time I was seeing that kind of case! And I’ve been working here since over ten years.”

Nigel passed an arm through the bars and punched the man, hard, in the shoulder. The guy jolted away with a yelp, far away from Nigel’s cell.

“Where. Am. I? Answer!”

“Stay calm.” The woman repeated.”You are at New York subs facility in New York, in the United States, in the problematic subs aisle. You arrived by plane one hour ago, while you were still asleep. This facility...”

Nigel stopped listening while she was describing whatever great services they had here.

A sub facility, really? What the fuck was going on? He had nothing to do here!

Well, technically, he had. Problematic could have been his second name. And sub... well, yes, he was a sub. Around 80% of the population was neutral, and 10% were dominants. And Nigel had the misfortune to be one of the 10% left, a submissive. A person who needed to be dominated, and to be cared about. As much as a dom needed to dominate and to take care.

Fucking bullshit. He didn’t need anybody.

Nobody knew the great and swearing Nigel was a sub. He had nothing of the classical sub, none of the fragile features and desire to submit. Nobody could have guessed. Maybe Gabbi knew, she was smart and had probably guessed way before their painful broke up. But he had never told her, and they had never talked about this.

Darko knew, and had always known since Nigel had presented as a sub when they were just teenagers and already friends. But they had almost never talked about this, except a couple times, and Nigel had ended up very angry each time.

And what was he doing in the US?! Before falling asleep, before everything went dark, he was in Romania, he was a hundred percent sure of that.

“You are not even listening to me, are you?” The woman asked. “Yes, no need to answer, it’s visible you weren’t listening. Your brother had told us that all of this would be new to you and that you would probably be disoriented.”

“My brother?”

He didn’t have a brother, and never had one.

“Yes, your brother.” She answered slowly, detaching the words as if he had troubles understanding. “He brought you to the airport, in Romania, and we flew you here, directly at the sub facility. You don’t remember the trip because you were deeply sedated. His name is on your papers, see?”

She pulled out several sheets of papers from a file and pointed one of the first lines, while staying carefully two steps away from Nigel’s reach.

It was hard to read the small letters from this far, but Nigel recognized one of Darko’s aliases in the “previous caregiver” box, and “(big brother)” was noted just aside.

Unsure of the situation, Nigel didn’t correct her and just nodded as if he had really read the name of a reassuring and caring big brother written on the form.

“Yeah, I see that. What happened? Why am I here?”

“According to your file, you have totally lost control and attacked several people.” The man explained. “The local police had to arrest you. But don’t worry!” He added immediately in front of Nigel’s dark expression. “You won’t face any trouble with the justice, not even a trial. A sub of your age shouldn’t be unmated. It’s dangerous! And it can lead to situations like this one, a total loss of control. You probably knew it was a possibility.”

Nigel nodded. Of course he knew that these things could happen. The news were sometimes, not often, talking about an unmated sub who had turned feral and who had to be arrested for their own good.

It didn’t happen to doms, and that was so fucking unfair. Maybe because it was easier to take care of someone, even if it was not a mate, to fulfill your dom needs, than it was to let yourself being taken care of.

Nigel was sure he hadn’t gone feral or whatever bullshit the guy was talking about. Yes, he had fought some guys. And so what? That was not new, and not linked to his unmated state. He had always lived like this, and Darko too, and many others too.

“If I’m not in trouble with the cops, if there won’t be consequences, why am I in a fucking cell? Let me out immediately.”

“Oh no, sweetheart, that’s not possible.” The man sighed. “We need to keep you in there.”

“It’s for your own good.” The woman assured. “After a while, an unmated sub becomes dangerous. You are dangerous, to yourself and to others. It’s very impressive that you have arrived at your age without being mated, it’s probably an unique case. It must have been so hard for you, poor thing. But it’s over, don’t worry. The staff here will take care of you.”

“What? No, the fuck no. I don’t need your fucking help. Just let me out immediately. My brother” He spat, trying to not insult fucking Darko right now “will be there to help me.”

“A brother is not a mate, and this man is a neutral, not a dom. He cannot help you. Plus, you are not even in the same country anymore, as he stayed in Romania. You are a bit lost, that’s why you are aggressive like that. Don’t worry, you’ll soon get used to this place, and everything will be great, you’ll see.” She smiled.

A shame she was so far from the bars. Nigel wanted to strangle her to make her stupid smile disappear. And to strangle the guy too, of course.

“What’s going to happen?” He asked with fiel in his voice.

“You are going to spend a few days here while we run some basic tests on you. And then, you’ll meet another member of our staff to talk about the dom you would need..”

“When will I leave this damn place?”

“When we will have found a dom for you.”

“I fucking beg you pardon?! I don’t want, and I don’t need, a dom!”

“You do. You are just too angry and lost to realize it. It must be the first time you are so far from your brother... But, well, yes, you’ll leave this place when you will have an official dom able to control you and to bring you down. A classical sub could go without being mated to a dom like this, and could come to a facility like this one regularly to be brought down by a dom of the staff, for their own health. But with someone like you... we won’t take the risk to let you go freely like this.”

“Your brother let you a letter.” The man said quickly to not let a chance to Nigel to answer. “Here it is. Don’t worry, you are lost for now, but it is going to get better very soon.”

He threw the letter in the cell, careful of not going to close of the bars, and they both left, letting Nigel alone. Being alone was far better than having to deal with their constant chatting, Nigel thought as he sat back on the mattress, Darko’s letter in his hand.

Handwriting a letter was not something Darko usually did. Maybe it was not even from him, just a lie from these two stupid facility staff in hope it would calm him. His name was scribbled in big letters on the sealed envelop. Nigel sighed, regretting to not have asked the staff for cigarettes, and opened the envelop.

It was Darko’s handwriting, covering several sheets of cheap paper with the logo of a small Romanian airport in the corner.

“Nigel,

Man, first thing first, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I hope you’ll manage to get the best out of it.

You have been deeply sedated and that you blacked out, and I don’t know what you remember or not. So I’m going to tell you what happened from the very beginning.

On Tuesday night, we had a deal to conclude a few streets away from the club. Nothing special, just an usual evening for our business. It went bad. Or more exactly, _you_ went bad. Both sides were kinda angry, as often during transactions like these. But you were extra angry. Way more than usual. Like often since a few years, but you never listen to me when I tell you about that.

But whatever.

So, them, us, a deal, and super angry you, out for blood. It has been a huge mess. You attacked these guys, which is kinda normal, and also the guys that were with them, and even me. Huge mess, as I said. Sadly, the police was not far. I managed to run away with you, snarling and clawing like a giant wild cat, and that’s not a good memory at all. You didn’t recognize me anymore and were constantly trying to run away and attack whatever you had in mind, I have no idea. I needed to hide, quickly. And that was not doable with you.

I’m not stupid, I had heard about feral subs and all that shit on tv. And you have never listened to me. Never got a dom, never went to a facility to bring you down and get rid of some of this aggressivity. So I knew what was happening to you.

With the police behind me, I had no other choice. I kinda pushed you into their arms. You see the documentaries with animals, where they shoot the big ones to make them sleep because they are too dangerous? That’s kinda what happened. No complains, trials or anything against a feral sub. Told them you were my brother, that I was taking care of you but that you had became mad in this street and that I didn’t know what to do. Poor thing, they said. I paid a few of them to convince them that you would be better in the US. Officially because they have bigger facilities there, and because their laws about subs are more restrictive. But in reality, it was just because I knew someone at the airport who would make you go through security without checking your past and identity and everything. They would definitely have checked everything if you had stayed here, and it would have been even worse for you, and for me.

They kept you sedated with something specific to the sub physical characteristics, from what they told me. And they flew you to New York while you were asleep. I guess you just woke up in their facility as you’re reading this.

I couldn’t keep you with me after what had happened, with the police everywhere. I couldn’t let them come too close of me. The business and everything linked to that would never have survived that. Giving you a new life in America was the best I could do. Still better than ending in a cell waiting for a trial, isn’t it?

I told them I was your brother to avoid questions. A big brother protecting the younger, a poor unmated sub... it made sense to the police, and on the sub facility papers. A business partner... no. It wouldn’t have worked.

I’m sorry, I didn’t want the story to end like this. But what if you lose your control again like this during a deal? During the day, against random people in the street? Or like with Gabbi and her greasy guy? No, not possible, sorry. It hurts me to say that, but I can’t help you, and a dom can. A new life in America, with a new identity and everything, can help you. I hope you’ll make the best out of it.

Give me news if you can.

Darko.”

Maybe he should have been thankful that Darko had found this solution instead of letting the police knew who he was, and instead of letting their rivals in this deal kill him.

Maybe he should have been thankful to be offered a new life, a new identity, no more crimes under his name, a brand new man.

But he was not fucking thankful at all. In two days, he had lost everything. His life, his freedom. From a scary guy with a gun and cigarettes to a poor sub locked in a cell because he was dangerous for himself.

Nigel put the letter aside, knowing he would maybe regret later to have destroyed it but not wanting to see Darko’s pathetic excuses a single other second

“Give me news.”

He would prefer to give him a punch in the nose and to make him throw up his fucking blood on the floor for this! Fucking Darko, fucking sub facility, fuck everything in this damn world.

Nigel stood up and shook the bars as hard as he could.

“Let me out!”

Nobody answered. He continued to yell and to hit the bars for a while before slumping back on the mattress.

The lights were dim now, like if someone had passed them into night mode. It was better than seeing clearly in what shit of a place he was.

Nigel closed his eyes. Curled up on himself, hugging his knees.

He was suddenly feeling very alone.

Very lost.

Very much like a sub who never had his needs fulfilled, probably. But he would never admit it.

He had managed to go all his life without help, he could continue alone, thank you very fucking much.

But he was in a country he didn’t know, after having lost his life, the people he knew, his whole fucking world. And right now, he was just feeling so alone.

Kept here for their fucking tests, and released only when he would have a dom. That meant he would never been released. Because he would never find a dom. He had never wanted one, and still didn’t want one, despite the recent events. Brought down by somebody? Controlled by somebody? Submitting to somebody? _Owned_ by somebody?

Fucking hell, he would be better dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As announced, the facility staff wants to help Nigel. He clearly disagrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comment on the first chapter! 
> 
> Not beta read, and English is still not my native language

Blood tests. Sample of this. Test of that.

Three days had passed, and the doctor of the facility seemed to never get bored of analyzing Nigel.

A sub who had lived hidden his whole life until his forties was very uncommon.

A sub who had lived hidden his whole life and who had traces of tobacco and alcohol and drugs in his blood, scars from fights everywhere and tattoos was more than uncommon. More like something impossible nobody had never heard about.

Such an interesting subject.

“Poor guy,” had said the doc with a sad and compassionate tone, “he has probably been abused and forced to consume these things.”

Nigel hadn’t tried to deny. It was easier to let them believe their shit. And at least, he had retrieved his cigarettes. The doc had said it would have put too much stress on his sub metabolism to make him stop now. But that he would have to stop later, because it would reduce his chances to find a dom, the doc had said.

Very good. He just had to continue to smoke to avoid being fucking mated to a dom.

But even if he wasn’t smoking, he was kinda sure no dom would want him. Subs were generally small and cute, the kind of people doms wanted to protect. Nigel had none of these characteristics that were pictured for the subs in tv shows. He was built like if he could break the legs of a dom on a bad day. And he could, experience had made him sure of that. And he wouldn’t hesitate to do it if needed.

***

A morning, six guards of the facility came to pick him up in his cell, but instead of bringing him to one of the rooms where they had taken his blood and scanned his body, they led him to another aisle of the facility, after having handcuffed his hands, like every other day.

“Where are you taking me? I thought the tests were over.”

“The medical tests are over, yes.” A guard answered. “But another one of our staff member now needs to talk with you about your life, your needs as a sub, what you’re looking for in a dom... that kind of things. No need to go to the medical aisle for that.”

“And you guys need six fucking guards to get me there?”

“We have been told to be very careful with you.”

“I really don’t see why.” Nigel answered with a cocky smile.

None of the guards answered, and soon after, they arrived in another grey and sad room. It was like the person who had designed the facility had chosen only colors and features to make it look like a prison. Which it was. All these grey and hard lights were a bit depressing after a while.

But this room had something none of the other rooms of the facility he had seen had. It had a window. An open window. That kind of opportunity never happens twice. A guard was loosely gripping his left arm, but none of them was really paying attention. They probably never had someone like him there.

He sprinted toward the window, pushing the guards on his way.

He was only a couple meters away from his goal when they caught him, pinning him to the floor and hitting his head in the process.

“You’re not going anywhere, calm down now!” A guard yelled in his ear.

“Told y’a we should have been _really_ careful with him” Another said.

Fuck. Six fucking guards of a fucking sub facility had been enough to get him. What a pity. Of course, the handcuffs hadn’t helped him in the fight. But, still. They were only six. His only satisfaction was that the nose of one of them was broken, and another one had blood dripping from his mouth.

They forced him to stand up and one of them attached a leash, a fucking leash, to the collar he was still wearing, and then attached the other end to the wall. They also proceed to attach his bounded hands to a table and forced him to sit down on a chair secured to the floor.

“There,” A guard smiled. “better. No need to put up a fight like this.”

The guard moved his hand toward Nigel’s head.

Nigel knew what he was trying to do. He had seen doms doing that to comfort subs a thousand times. Let’s pat his head, was probably thinking the guard, he will feel better, cared for.

Bullshit.

Nigel brutally jolted up and bit him, hard. He felt something cracking under his teeth and warm blood gushing into his mouth. The guard screamed from pain and surprise, and another guard punched Nigel in the stomach to force him to release the hand of the first one. As soon as he got free from Nigel’s teeth, he retreated back near the door, as far as he could. Nigel laughed.

“You should have been fucking _careful_ , yeah! I’m not a tiny sugar-coated stupid sub like the ones on tv. Leave me the fuck alone, and don’t touch me!”

“They are going to have a hard time with this one.” A guard whispered to another, not very silently.

“Yes, which dom would want... that?”

The guard with the wounded hand came back next to Nigel.

“Want me to break another part of you? It will be my fucking pleasure.” Nigel offered.

The guard punched him hard enough to make his nose bleed.

“It seems like you have a lot to learn. First thing you’ll learn is that you owe respect to every single dom.”

He was ready to punch him again, but one of his coworkers stopped him.

“No need.” They said. “He is bounded, he can’t escape, there is no risk. We’ll be more careful next time. And the professor won’t be happy if you treat him like that, or to see him all bloody.”

“Easy to arrange.” The guard picked a glass of water that had been placed on the table before their arrival, and threw it onto Nigel’s face.“All clean now.”

“I’ll fucking end you, bastard.” Nigel spat back.

Finally, the three wounded guards left the room, quickly replaced by others. A smiling man, probably the professor the guard had talked about, holding a pen and a pad of paper got in. He immediately lost his smile when he saw the water and blood still dripping from Nigel’s face. A guard informed him of what had happened, and the man sat down carefully in front of Nigel.

“I think that we are going to have a very interesting day together.”

“If you say so.”

“I had never seen a sub like you, and had never even heard about a case like yours. It will definitely be an interesting day. But first, presentation. I’m Mr Smith, and I’m a professor specialized in subs’ behaviors. I work part time here at the facility, and I teach at the nearest university the rest of the time.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“I’m here to help you, I’m not your ennemy.”

“If you want to fucking help me, let me out.”

“That’s not the kind of help you need. It’s amazing that you went your whole life without the help of a dom to balance your physical needs. But it’s over, you need a dom to control you, to help you, to ground you.”

“I fucking don’t.”

“And I’m here to help you find this dom, to help you see all the benefits it will have for you, and for this person too. And for that, I need to get to know you, and your needs. It will help you to talk, I promise. I saw the results of your medical tests... you went through things a sub should never have to go through.”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Wrong! It totally is. If I understand you and your needs, I’ll be able to find the perfect dom for you. That’s one of the goal of this facility: bringing down the subs who don’t have doms and prefer to come here instead, and finding good doms for the subs like you, who can’t go without one anymore. We are here to help. Let’s start by the presentations, ok? Your file is pretty empty for now, except for your name.”

Professor Smith wanted to know everything. His past, his relationships, his big brother, his life, his job...

Nigel didn’t want to say anything and just let the guy ask question after question, slowly but surely building an intense frustration.

“I can’t help you if you don’t give me any informations!”

“Good, ‘cause I fucking don’t want your help.”

“And what do you want?”

“Getting out of there.”

“And after?” The professor insisted, relieved to have had an answer, even this tiny little one. “Going bak to Romania?”

“Yeah. Back to my old life, like if none of this had happened.”

Hell, he would even forgive Darko.

But he knew it was impossible. Even if he broke free, he was now listed as an unmated feral sub and he would never be allowed on a flight. And even if he managed to fly to Romania, the same thing would happen there: he would be tracked down, and arrested. For his own security, they would say. And if the Romanian police got him and started to do some research about his past... none of Darko’s little tricks could save him. His life in Romania was over, really fucking over, and he needed to accept it. And to accept to start a new life here in the United States. A life as a free man, of course, not as a toy for a dom.

But he couldn’t say that to Professor Smith, of course.

“You know it’s not going to happen, it’s impossible.” The professor said with a soft voice. “You need to find the best in this new life.”

***

It took many days, almost two weeks, before Nigel accepted to chat with Professor Smith. After his failed escape when he had ended up leashed to the wall, he had tried again, and had failed again three times. He was apparently the only feral sub, as they were calling him, in the facility at the moment, and all of their guards and staff were dedicated to monitor him all day and night. There was no way he could escape.

And there was no way they would just let him go. Professor Smith had been clear on that: they would keep him in there for years if needed. It was too dangerous to just release him without the control of a dom over his life. He had suggested that he could come back regularly to be brought down, like many subs were doing if they didn’t want to be mated to a dom. But it was obvious that he was lying, and that he would never come back, and it of course didn’t get accepted.

So he had started to try to accept the fact that he would need to have a dom to recover some of his freedom and get out of there. One he wouldn’t hate too much, if possible. He could then escape from this dom and finally go back to his own life.

***

“You seem less angry today.” Prof Smith noted a morning. “Maybe you will finally answer some of my questions.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Nigel shrugged. He was not especially in a good mood, but none of the guard had hit him this day and, considering his first two weeks in the facility, it was already a progress.

“I know you don’t want a dom, but you are aware that you can’t go without one anymore. So...I’m not going to ask you how you would like your future dom to be. I’m going to ask you what in a dom would be the least awful for you?”

“Someone who lets me my fucking freedom.”

“That’s something you get from a mutual trust with this person. Let’s start with easier characteristics! Would you prefer a woman or a man?”

“I don’t care, I think. I’ve only been with women before. Hell, I’ve even been fucking married to one. But I think I wouldn’t mind that. To be with a man, I mean.”

“Oh, you were married?”

“Yeah. Years ago.”

“And how did it end?”

“She left me for a greasy American bastard. Next question, I don’t want to talk about this. Man or woman, it’s not really important for a dom. This person will just be... a kind of a legal authority above me, nothing more.”

“A dom is much more than that!” Smith protested. “Yes, of course, there is a legal dimension. But a dom is here to take care of you, of your needs as a sub, to bring you down as your body and mind need it to function correctly, using different methods. Even if you never had a dom, you probably have be brought down a few times in your life. At least by curiosity, when you presented as a sub?”

“Yeah, a couple times, when I was younger. In my twenties, probably.”

“And how was it? What did these doms do to bring you down? Which methods work on you? That would be a very good way to start looking for the perfect dom for you! Someone who would enjoy the same ways as you. So, tell me? Through sex? Bondage? Role play? Just words?” Smith asked, listing the most common methods.

“That’s a very intimate chat to have with a stranger.” Nigel huffed.

“I know. But like every person working in the medical field, I’m bound to professional secrecy. So you don’t have to worry about your secrets being revealed to the entire world.”

“I thought you were a professor.”

“It’s a title, as I teach as the university. But I can assure you that I’m a real doctor, with diplomas and everything. So, tell me? Which method?”

“Pain.” Nigel spat, like if admitting it loudly was burning his tongue.

“You mean like in a BDSM scene?”

“No. Never trusted anyone enough for that. Just pain. I had read something about this, when I presented. That it could work. And I was just... craving to be brought down, I guess. I fucking hate to say that. You better hold on that professional secrecy or I’ll swear I’ll find you.”

“I’ve been working here for years and have never revealed anything about the subs and doms

I met, and it will be the same in your case. At least, it explains why you haven’t got into full feral mode since you’re here. Your... encounters with the guards have probably helped. Continue.”

“I was young, craving something I couldn’t have and didn’t want. Paid someone to beat me into submission but without killing me or breaking my bones, a couple times. It’s not beautiful but it works. I stopped after a while.”

“Because you needed more. More pain. More risks.” Smith said, and it was not a question. “That’s a quite... primitive, and incomplete, way, to deal with a sub’s needs. Did you like this pain, or was it purely useful?”

“I could like that, but didn’t like this one. Too harsh and not intimate enough to be liked, but that’s what I wanted.”

“Yes, of course. Impressive that you went so many years with only this, and then nothing at all. What does your brother think about that?”

Nigel thought for a few seconds before answering. He knew Darko had been very concerned the first time he had came back covered in bruises, and had admitted that he had paid someone for that. Just a beating, triggering the hormones of his sub metabolism, and bringing him down enough to content his bodyThey had argued, a lot, each time he had done that. But Nigel had always refused to talk about it, and about other ways for him to find peace. And after a while, Darko had stopped asking. It was not his life, not his problems, and Nigel had been very clear that he would always refuse to talk about that.

“None of his business.” Nigel finally answered.

“You really never let anyone take care of you, don’t you? Even some help from your brother.”

“I don’t need that.”

“ You do. You just have to accept it. You won’t be less of a human, less strong, less yourself, if you sometimes accept someone’s help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Adam in this chapter but don’t worry: he’ll be there in the next one! I’ll post it in a few days


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam meets Beth in the street and they talk about the fact that he is a dom without a sub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you for all the comments and love for the first two chapters <3 I hope you’ll like this one too: Adam finally appears in the story!
> 
> Not beta-read. English is still not my native language

“Hello Adam!” A happy voice called in the street, just in front of Adam’s building. “Oh, you look grumpy tonight. Is there any problem?”

“Hello Beth. No, there is not, I’m just coming back home after work.”

“Are you sure? You look so worried. ”

“I am a bit worried about my job, that’s all. My boss had suggested that he would maybe not keep me in the future. Nothing precise, but it was the first time he was talking about that. So I’m worried. ”

“Ah, I understand.” Beth sighed. “I hope it was just something he randomly said in the conversation, and not a serious idea.”

“Why would anyone suggest something like that if it was not serious?”

“Maybe as a joke? Maybe you missed something? It happens quite often.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m going to go back home now. It was nice to see you, but I’m going to be late.”

“And you don’t want to change your routine, I know.”

“Yes. I’ll work harder than ever tomorrow, and I’ll show my boss that he needs me for the electronics of the toys. So he won’t suggest anymore that he could do without me.”

“Sounds like a good idea! And... even if you lost this job, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. You could find another one. It happens all the time, to many people.”

“I’m not very good for that. The job interviews and everything. No, I need to keep this one. If I lost it, I couldn’t keep my appartment, I couldn’t afford it and they would throw me away. I would have to move! And I don’t want to move. I need to keep this job so I can keep the appartment.”

“You couldn’t lose your place so easily if you had a sub.”

Adam looked at Beth for several seconds. They had had this talk several times, even before being together, and were still having it regularly since they had broken up. It was true: a household with a sub was protected by the law, as subs were fragile humans who needed protection. If he lost his job, he would lose his appartment. If he lost his job and had a sub, he would be protected and would have months to find a new job without being evicted.

But Adam had never wanted a sub. That was not very common for a dom, but Adam wasn’t very common anyway. He didn’t want someone he would need to take care of all the time, like in the movies where subs were totally dependent of their doms. No, impossible. It would change all his routines, and it sounded very stressful to have someone relying on him for everything.

“I know. But I don’t want to, and, even as a neutral, you know that.”

“I know. But if your boss was serious... maybe you should consider it. A dom without a sub at your age, not even going to clubs to relieve your dom needs with subs looking for a dom for the night... it’s not good for you. You should consider it, both for your health, and for your appartment. Just in case.”

She put a colorful piece of paper in his hand.

“The city’s sub facility is organizing a kind of a speed dating afternoon in a few weeks. ”She explained.” Maybe you could have a look? It wouldn’t engage you into anything. It’s just to meet other people. I found the paper at the station and took it for you.”

“Thank you, I guess. I really have to go now.”

She left in the street with a wave of the hand, and Adam finally got into the building, then into the stairs, and then into his appartment. He checked his watch. A bit later than usual, but not that much.

He knew she was right, that one day or another, not fulfilling his dom needs would take a toll on his health. But he didn’t want to think about it.

He had a quick look at the paper. The dom - sub speed dating was three weeks away. Maybe he could go, and then tell her that he didn’t find anybody suitable for him. So she would stop talking about that, at least for a while.

Three weeks was a long time, wasn’t it? He had plenty of time to think about it.

***

“Why would I want to take part to a fucking speed dating?”

Professor Smith smiled and huffed lightly. He had been sure Nigel would react like that. He showed him the flyer inviting unmated doms to meet the subs who were in contract with the facility.

“You could meet a dom adapted to your case, who knows?”

“Yeah, no, not gonna happen. The doms who come at these things, they want to meet subs who rely on the facility to be brought down, like with a dating app or whatever. Not subs who are fucking jailed here because they are dangerous, like me.”

“You never know! Maybe someone would give you your chance.”

“Giving me my chance? Fuck you, I’m not an abandoned dog in a shelter you know.”

“Of course you’re not. Dogs are way more obedient.”

Nigel barked a laugh at that. He was clearly not of the obedient type, not a nice little sub waiting for their dom’s orders with adoration in the eyes. A normal sub would probably never attack the guards, and even maybe not insult them.

But Nigel was still chained to the wall at every single meeting with the professor Smith, and it was for sure the sign that he was not obedient enough.

“There will of course be a lot of security around you. Not that we are scared that a dom would be threatening you, we do not let anybody come in without checking them first. But a feral one like you is too dangerous left unsupervised.”

“Yeah I know. You say that all the time. And the fucking guards too.”

“Maybe you should consider changing your attitude if you are so aware of how awful you are with everybody.”

“Hell no, being a fucking pain in the ass of everybody is my last piece of freedom. I won’t attend your stupid dating afternoon.”

“What if I was giving you something against your participation?”

“A trade?”

“Yes.”

“I think you don’t have anything that could fucking convince me.”

“I’ll let you access to a computer to send an email to your brother.”

“Interesting. Unsupervised?”

“Nobody will check what you will write.” Smith promised. “But there will be a guard in the room, of course. As always, we can’t take risks with you.”

“Is your coworker out of the hospital by the way?” Nigel asked with a fake polite tone, as he was not the one who has sent said coworker directly to the ER two weeks before.

“Yes, and his wrist is way better. His friends will probably beat you as a revenge, but you knew it was coming.”

“Yeah, not the first time. Your guards here are so fucking friendly.”

“They are here to protect the subs who come at us for help! Even the feral ones like you. But feral and stubborn and aggressive like you? What else could they do?! Why the hell did you break his wrist?”

“He touched me.”

“He petted you on the head, I was there! That’s a normal attitude for a dom to a sub!”

“I’m not a fucking dog!” Nigel yelled. Darko had petted his hair a few times, as a joke. Nigel had laughed, of course. Admitting he had appreciated it would have been too hard. But this guard? He didn’t know him!

“You’re often closer to a mad dog than to a man.” Smith sighed. “By the way, have you read the documents I gave you yesterday?”

“The ones about the rights of subs in this country? Yeah, I fucking did. Let me tell you that it’s just a fucking bunch of bullshit.”

“The laws about subs are quite restrictive here, that’s true.”

“Quite restrictive?! Is that a fucking joke?! A dom could forbid me to work, to get outside without permission, to get a bank account and some other stuff. Quite restrictive? Really? My dom would be allowed to beat the shit out of me in the street if I don’t _behave_. If I had a dom, they would litterally control my entire fucking life!”

“These laws are a bit harsh, that’s true. But they are old, and most people don’t follow them exactly, you know. Yes, public punishments are sometimes a thing, for some couples. But most subs work and have what could be called a normal life.”

“If their fucking dom agrees.”

“Of course. But most of them do now! We live in a modern society. But anyway, I’m glad you read these documents. It’s the sign that you’re started to be comfortable with the situation.”

“No, I was just so fucking bored in that fucking cell.”

Smith sighed. It would be hard to find a dom for this one, but he hoped it would arrive as soon as possible. He had never met a sub so uncooperative.

“Anyway, you read them, and it’s a good thing. Now... You’ll come to the speed dating, you won’t attack anybody, you’ll behave like a decent human and I’ll let you write an email to your brother. Do we have a deal?”

Nigel huffed. Having a deal had meant very different things not so long ago.

“Yeah, we have a deal.”

***

Adam had made plenty of research on the web and, three weeks after, the day before the speed dating, he had finally decided to apply the advice he had found.

“Describing the characteristics of an ideal sub.” He had noted on a paper.

Adam sighed. He still didn’t want anybody in his life, and especially not like that. He didn’t want any of the changes it would bring. But his boss had again said that he would probably have to find another job soon, at the end of their current project. This project was ending in less than a year. It was not sure but... it would be better to be ready to lose this job, rather than waiting and being surprised. Adam didn’t like being surprised. Surprises, both good and bad ones, were always highly stressful situations that were hard to handle and that always made him need a lot of rest.

Having to look for a job soon was giving him nightmares. By fear, he had had a few looks, applied to a couple places by email, but it was not at all a success for now. Maybe Beth was right. Maybe he should get mated to a sub, and let this person live in his appartment. At least, he would have a delay before losing it. Adam was feeling bad at the idea of using someone for that. But as long as he was honest with the person... it shouldn’t be a problem, should it?

The websites he had read said that he should start by listing the physical characteristics of this ideal sub.

Not sure of what he was looking for, Adam noted “physically appealing” on his notebook. He didn’t really mind, as long as he was getting along the person.

And now, the personality. That was easier. Adam scribbled:

“Independent”, so his sub wouldn’t rely on him for everything and wouldn’t disturb his routines.

“Curious”, so he could talk with them about space.

“Open-minded”, so they wouldn’t give him a hard time about his autism.

What else could he add? In movies, doms and subs always had kinky sex, and Adam wasn’t at all opposed to this. But what was in movies was not real life, and people probably didn’t live like this in real life.

He hesitated. It was maybe better to not add it to his list, just in case someone would read it. It would be great to live with someone who would fulfill his fantasies, but that was not the first criteria to take in consideration to meet the perfect sub. Yes, it was better to not write it, and to just keep it in mind.

That was not a very long list, but that was better than nothing. Adam realized with a laugh that Beth wasn’t filling a lot of these characteristics, except for the physically appealing one, even if he wasn’t even sure anymore about this one. She was certainly not independent as she had always wanted to break his routines when they were together. Not curious either, especially not about space. And sadly, not open-minded either. Or else, she wouldn’t have rejected him for being different, for being who he was.

Adam sighed. She was not a bad friend but... well, she was, but she was his only friend, with Harlan of course.

Harlan... Maybe he could call him, maybe he would have some tips? He was a good friend, and way more experimented than him in all of these strange social things. But calling was a bad idea, Adam hated the phone. Instead, he sent a short text:

“Hi. I’m going to a speed dating tomorrow afternoon, at the sub facility. Do you have any tips or things that could help me?”

The answer arrived a few minutes later.

“Hi Adam! I’m glad you’re going, I hope you’ll find someone cool! I’ve never been to a dom-sub speed dating, I don’t really know how it works. But no matter the issue, I’m sure it will be a good experience for you.

My advice would be... to be yourself? And to not worry too much. If you don’t meet a sub you like, it’s not that important. You could meet one somewhere else. And maybe you won’t meet someone to share a dom - sub relationship but you’ll meet nice people, sub or dom, ready to chat a bit and become friends. Who knows? It’s great that you’re going. I hope you’ll have a good time.”

Adam thanked him, a bit reassured. It was true, it wasn’t that bad if he wasn’t meeting the perfect sub tomorrow. He had time. But with his maybe-soon-to-be-former job, and the appartment he couldn’t lose... He couldn’t just not worry.

He didn’t want to talk with Beth about all of this. She was already annoying enough since she had given him the facility flyer, asking almost every day if he would go. And when he had finally told her that he would go, she had started to shower him with questions about what he was expecting and how would be his sub. She was sure this person would be a pretty woman, as Adam had “good tastes in women as he had been with her”. Adam had said he wanted a nice person who wouldn’t be annoying. She had laughed, told him it was a funny joke. It hasn’t been a joke, but he hadn’t wanted to debate with her.

Adam slept badly this night, tormented by his worries, despite Harlan’s reassuring text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters and they still haven’t met... but it’s coming, don’t worry! Slow built relationships are my jam in fics :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally the day of the speed dating! Sounds fucking boring for Nigel, sounds super stressful for Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta read, and English didn’t magically become my native language since the last chapter 
> 
> Many thanks for your comments <3 (details in the end notes)

A couple of hours before the beginning of the speed dating, the guards came to pick Nigel up and to lead him to an aisle of the facility he had never been into.

“It’s for people who can behave, not for mad dogs.” A guard had answered when Nigel had asked why he had never been on this side of the building.

Nigel hadn’t tried to argue. It was probably not the best moment for that, as he didn’t want to lose his privileges of the day. There was the promise of the possibility to send an email to Darko later of course, and also the fact that, for once, he wasn’t wearing a collar and wouldn’t be chained up to the wall. That was a big improvement. Most of the mated subs wore a collar, as a symbol of their relationship with a dom. Wearing one at a speed dating would have been inappropriate, even if this one had nothing to do with a loving relationship symbol.

“We will have an eye on you all the time.” A guard promised as they let him sit in the room were the speed dating would happen.

“I can’t blame you, I’m a nice view.”

The guard muttered some insults and they let him here, waiting for the other subs to find a chair too.

None of them was living in a cell like Nigel. They had their own life outside the facility and were only coming there if they needed the relief of being guided by a dom, or for events like this one.

A woman sat at a table nearby and smiled at Nigel.

“Hi! I never saw you here before, are you new?”

“Yeah, I arrived not long ago. You?” Nigel answered, smiling too. It was great to talk with someone who wasn’t one of these fucking guards, nor Smith who always wanted to know everything about him.

“I’m coming here since many years but it’s the first time I’m taking part to one of their speed datings.” She answered. “Their services are great but... I thought a lot about it, and I want to settle with someone now. Oh, I know I could have used a dating app, like everybody. But with doms, you’re never sure if you’re not going to meet a manipulative asshole. At least, here, it’s a bit protected. My name’s Iris by the way.”

“Mine’s Nigel.”

She nodded and picked up a pack of candy from her backpack before offering him some.

“I know I probably won’t meet the perfect dom on a first try like this but... I have to start somewhere.”

“That’s true. And maybe you’ll get lucky, who knows.”

“Maybe! Ah, I’m so nervous. I shouldn’t have arrived this early, there is still one hour left before the beginning. But I guess you’re nervous too, as you were here even before me.”

“Not really nervous. I didn’t get to chose my arrival hour, that’s all.”

“But why... Oh, you’re that one they told us about, aren’t you?” She asked, having suddenly understood. “That’s why the guards are here, they are here for you. I know another sub who is going to come today, and he came to other speed datings before. And he told me how it was usually going, and it seems different today... You are the dangerous one.”

“Yeah, that’s me. All feral and dangerous and fucking whatever. But don’t worry, I don’t attack people.” Or at least, not always, he mentally added.

“Is it true that a sub like you can lose control and do bad stuff, and then forget it? I saw that on TV.”

“Yes, at least for me it is. But I don’t attack people who haven’t been an ass to me before. Even unconscious and aggressive, it seems that I remember stuff.” He answered with a huff.

Since his first loss of control, back in Romania with Darko, it had happened a few other times. A blind rage, a few guards knocked out, and no memory. Attacking them was fine. Punching or even killing people had always been a large part of his life. But not remembering these moments was a problem, and Nigel hated that, waking up in his cell with blood on his hands and pain where they had to hit him to make him stop, without knowing what had happened.

“That sounds scary.” Iris answered.

“It’s not great, that’s sure. Do you know what kind of dom would be perfect for you?” He asked to change the topic of their conversation.

“I don’t have lot of criterias. I love gardening, so someone who also likes that would be great. And I prefer women, so... a woman, around my age, who likes gardening. I’m probably ridiculous.” She smiled nervously.

“Doesn’t sound ridiculous to me. Wanting to live with someone who shares your passion is not ridiculous at all.”

“Thank you, that’s reassuring! Excuse me a second please, I see that my friend just arrived.”

The room had started to fill as they were talking, and she stood up to greet a man who was picking coffee before looking for a place to sit.

A lot of these subs seemed to know each other, probably from previous speed datings or other events, or maybe just seeing each other in the corridors of the facility a day or another.

Of course, nobody knew Nigel and the presence of the guards was surprising everybody. Soon, some of them understood that Nigel was the dangerous feral sub they had heard about from the staff of the facility, and the information made it to everybody in a couple of minutes. Nigel didn’t really care. He had known far worse in his life than a few people whispering about him around a coffee machine.

After a while, three staff members arrived in the room, greeting some of the attendees by their names, and politely saluting all of them.

“Hello everybody, and thanks for being here today!” A staff said cheerfully. “We hope that this speed dating will help each one of you to find the dom they need. The procedure will be the same as usual, but as I see some new faces, I’m going to explain it again.”

The doms, for now in another room, would go from table to table, and would stay for three minutes with each sub. Then, after a break of thirty minutes, everybody, doms and subs, would be allowed to ask to see one or more people again, if they wanted to know more about someone.

As there were twenty doms this day, the first part of the process would be quite fast. Nigel hadn’t counted how many subs they were, and the staff didn’t announce their number.

“Remember that if there is any problem, at any moment, you are free to leave or to ask help from our staff. It’s a moment for you to enjoy, don’t let a bad encounter ruins it. I see that everybody has a place, so let’s start.”

Another staff opened a door to let the doms in and greeted them. Nigel had a quick look, just by curiosity. Women, men, all ages, all looks... Most of them taller and seemingly stronger than all the subs already sitting in the room, as usual. Except him, who wasn’t looking at all like a classic sub. He sighed. Hopefully, this would be quick, and he could go back to his cell soon, and write to Darko to send him help to make him escape from this fucking hell.

Chatting noises soon filled the room. Nigel didn’t do many efforts to be polite, but secretly enjoyed to have the possibility to talk with people, as with Iris earlier.

“You are the feral one, aren’t you?” A guy asked him just after having told his name. “I’m sure it’s you, you don’t look like a sub. Is that you the dangerous beast? Answer.” An order. Nigel already didn’t like this one.

“If you already know the fucking answer, why are you asking, fucker?”

“A sub who dares insulting a dom... A shame, really.” The guy tried to idly pet Nigel’s hand. “I could get that nasty little attitude out of you. I’m sure I would have a lot of pleasure breaking your mind.”

Nigel leaned on the table, getting as close as he could of this fucking jerk. “I’m sure I would have a fucking lot of pleasure breaking your bones.” He said with a large smile. “Try to touch me again and we are going to start immediately. Your nose first?”

A guard coughed and put his hand on the back of Nigel’s chair, just to remind him where he was.

The dom retreated, reassured by the guard but scared by Nigel who was still looking at him like if soaking the wooden floor with his blood would bring him the greatest joy.

The guy spent the remaining minute looking at his phone, and Nigel spent it looking at him, because it was way too funny to see him drowning in fear.

When the staff announced that the three minutes were over, the guy literally jumped out of his chair and Nigel bursted laughing. At least, this one had been entertaining.

A few more minutes passed, a few other doms sat, chatted a bit and left without letting any interesting memories. There was probably only two or three doms left now, Nigel counted in his head, and he would be free of that boring stuff for today. Two or three. He could be as polite as the rest of the day two or three more times.

The next dom who sat in front of him was unusual. Most doms had a tough look and were full of self-confidence. This one seemed thin, almost weak, and was fidgeting with a notebook.

“Hi,” He said at the second he sat down. “My research on the web said I was supposed to tell you what I wanted in a sub, but it hasn’t worked with the other people. So I’m trying something else. What do you want from a dominant?”

“I don’t want a fucking dom.”

Adam, surprised, removed his eyes from the notebook and finally had a look at Nigel. This tough sub had probably said the truth, why would he have lied about that, especially now?

“They are forcing you to be there because you are the different one?”

“Yeah.” Nigel answered, surprised that the guy had said he was different, and not feral, or wild, or whatever the others had said. “Let’s try. What do you want in a sub?”

“I don’t really want a submissive. But I need one to not lose my appartment. I would prefer to have a roommate, with an independent life, who would appear to be a sub, so it would be easier for the appartment. If this person could like space, it would be perfect.”

Nigel laughed. If he was an original sub, this one was for sure an original dom.

“No wonder it didn’t work well with the others. You told them you didn’t want them. Not a great way to flirt.”

“I’m not good at these things, like flirting. It’s too complicated. If you don’t want a dom, what do you want?”

“To fucking get out of there, and to be free again. And a pack of these.” Nigel patted the pack of cigarettes in the pocket of his shirt. “I’m almost out, and I doubt they will let me get out to buy some.”

“Smoking is bad...”

“I fucking know that.”

“...but I can imagine it must be very stressful to be trapped there, so you can’t stop for now.”

“Never planned to stop anyway. But yeah, it fucking sucks to be here. I hate it. Earlier, you mentionned a sub who would like space.” Nigel remembered. “Why? Do you work with rockets or something?”

“Sadly, I don’t. But space is one of my specific interests. I love reading about it, watching videos about it, talking about it... Space, planets, rockets... everything. I love it.”

“I have to admit that I don’t know much about space.”

“Why? You don’t care about it?”

“No, it’s just that I never got the chance to learn about it. I was very busy before... well, fuck, before getting trapped here.” Nigel sighed. “But I’m sure it’s interesting!”

Sadly, a staff member stopped their conversation. Three minutes was a short amount of time, and it was already over. The last dom Nigel had to meet for this speed dating sat in front of him, and he looked at the previous guy leaving to meet Iris. Nigel realized the spaceman didn’t even have said his name, as he had started to ask him immediately about what he wanted. Really a strange guy. But so refreshing in the middle of all these doms looking at him like if he was inferior.

This last dom hadn’t been interesting at all, Nigel thought as she left after the three minutes delay. Not bad, just bland. The good thing was that this thing was finally finished now and that he would finally be allowed to write to Darko. He didn’t even know what he was going to write exactly. Probably a lot of insults, even if he knew his friend had only wanted to help him.

A staff announced the beginning of the thirty minutes break previously announced, and the twenty doms left the room to go back into another. It was probably better for everybody that they were separated. At least, Nigel’s neighbor, who had seemed very tensed all the time they were here, was finally able to relax.

“Did everything go well?” Nigel asked politely.

“Yes and no.” She answered with a tired huff. “Didn’t have any problem, but didn’t meet anyone I felt something for. I think I won’t ask to see someone again. What about you?”

“It was ok.” He said, not mentionning the guy he had threatened.

“Will you ask to see one of them again?”

“I don’t think so.”

Maybe he should ask to see the spaceman again. He was cute and interesting, and looking for a roommate rather than for a sub, which was great. But why would a guy like this want to see Nigel again?

“But you’re hesitating?” She asked. “You seem to be thinking way too much. Come on, let’s have a coffee at the machine, with my friend. Let’s talk, maybe it will help you.”

***

Back in the doms room, Adam sat alone in a corner. Most people were sitting alone, processing their meetings and trying to decide if they wanted to see someone again.

Most of these meetings hadn’t been very pleasant. The room had a very strong white light that had hurt his eyes the whole time he had been there. And all the noise... the constant noise of twenty chats going on at the same time had been very unpleasant. And as usual, when he was asking people if they liked space, they were just looking surprised and were answering random mumbles. Or were even answering that they didn’t care. Strange people. He was glad it was over.

The swearing one had said he thought space was interesting. That was a good point. And that he wasn’t looking for a dom. Maybe he could ask to see this one again. But Adam wasn’t great for chatting, and for all these social things. He needed to figure out what to say before deciding if yes or no he was going to ask to see him again.

The swearing sub had also said he wanted cigarettes. Gifts were a good way to start talking with someone.

Adam stood up, informed a staff that he would be back in a few minutes and rushed in the street. He had seen a store on his way to the facility and quickly got in. He had seen the brand on the pack of cigarettes the man had in his pocket and, a minute later, Adam was out of the store.

Back in the room at the facility, Adam was still hesitating a bit. Maybe the swearing sub had already left, not wanting to see anyone? No, no, impossible. He was leaving here. Or, more precisely, he was jailed here. So he couldn’t have left. But maybe he wouldn’t want to see him? It wouldn’t be that bad. Adam would go back home and watch a documentary, and Beth would stop telling him he had to find a sub as soon as possible.

“Do you want to see someone again?” A staff asked him a few minutes before the end of the break.

“I’d like to, but I don’t know his name.”

“I’ll help you find it. Describe him, please?”

“The one who was swearing all the time.” Adam said, blushing lightly because he was a bit ashamed to not have a better description.

“Ah. Nigel. I can’t deny that I’m surprised. He is not exactly the typical sub, and he is aggressive... I don’t like him. But it’s your choice, of course! We’ll inform him, and we’ll let you know if he accepts to see you. If he does, you’ll come back into the main room and have a bit more time to chat with him. The staff and the guards will stay, of course, for your safety.”

“My safety?”

“Yes, he is a bad one. Feral. Aggressive. A little shit, if you want my opinion about him.”

“I don’t, thank you.”

The staff looked at him with a baffled face. That was an expression Adam had seen quite often on the face of people he was talking with. He had made a faux pas, as often. He did his best to not react, and the staff finally stopped staring at him.

“Yeah, well, be careful with him, that’s all.”

The staff left, letting Adam wonder if he had taken the right decision.

***

“Nigel?” Another staff asked. “Very surprising, but my colleage told me that someone wanted to see you again.”

“Oh really? Who?” Despite his chat with Iris and her friend, he still hadn’t decided what he wanted to do.

“A man named Adam Raki. Do you want to see him or not?”

“I haven’t noted any name, I don’t know who the fuck it is. Describe him, maybe I’ll remember.”

“It’s so unexpected that a dom wants to try to talk with you again that we are going to say that you agree anyway.”

“Anything to get rid of me, hm?”

“To get rid of your attitude, more specifically. The guards will stay all the time, of course. Don’t attack this guy. Try to be good, for once.”

“I’m a fucking angel and you know it.”

The staff left with a despaired huff.

“That’s great!” Iris cheered. “I hope it will go well, I’m crossing my fingers for you.”

“Thanks. Will you see someone again?”

“No, as I told you I didn’t have the little spark that would make me want to talk again with one of them. And nobody asked to see me again. So... I’m going to finish my coffee and leave. My friend is already waiting outside, we are probably going to end the day at the cinema or something like that.”

She threw her empty goblet in the recycling bin and picked up her bag.

“No chance today, more chance next time! Enjoy your meeting, and I hope to see you again one day!”

“Thanks. Hope to see you again too.” Nigel said sincerely. She had been the first person to talk to him like to a human since he was there, and it would be cool to see her again.

Nigel sat back at his place and waited for the mysterious Adam Raki to arrive. The break was almost over, all of this would be over soon.

And after? What would happen? They would bring him back to his cell, and? He sighed. As boring as this speed dating had been, it had at least been slightly entertaining.

A few doms came back in the room, and Nigel smiled when he saw that the spaceman was with them. With a bit of luck, he was coming back for him. No staff had asked him if he wanted to see someone. Maybe he would have asked for him.

He then mentally kicked himself, hard, for having had this kind of thoughts. Spaceman had been nice, but he was still a fucking dom. This guy could be his key to freedom, but he needed to be careful.

His smile grew wider when Adam sat in front of him.

“I asked to see you again. I hope it is ok.”

“It is totally ok. I’m glad you did. And glad to know your name, Adam Raki.”

Adam looked at the table, not knowing what he was supposed to answer. He took the cigarettes from his pocket and put them on the table. A gift was a good way to start a conversation.

“Uh... thanks?” Nigel said, surprised.

“You are welcome, even if it’s a bad habit. I remembered you had said you wanted them.”

“Yeah indeed, I’m almost out. They don’t let me out to buy more. In fact, they never let me out, not only for that. So, thanks a lot, Spaceman.”

“I’m not a spaceman.”

“I know. But I had no fucking idea of your name so I had to come up with something.”

“Oh, ok, I understand. It is a nice nickname.” Nicer than a lot of nicknames he had be given during his life. “So err... what do you here, if you’re not allowed to get out?”

“You don’t know how to start a conversation, do you? I see you fidgeting with your jacket and you look nervous.”

“I’m not good for that, indeed. Sorry” Adam answered honestly. He hesitated a second to talk about his autism, but pushed back the idea. Nigel would maybe have an awful reaction, Adam had already seen that, sadly. As long as he wasn’t saying anything, he could believe that Nigel would react in a good way.

Of course, he would have to tell him, if they got to meet again. He couldn’t not tell anything before getting him into his life. If he wanted to get this swearing and smoking guy into his life for real.

“It’s ok, we all have or don’t have skills for stuff. Tell me a bit about you? You love space, but you don’t work with rockets. So, what’s your work about?”

“I code programs for electronic toys.”

“Damn, that sounds fucking complicated.”

“Sometimes it is, but it depends. It’s not a dream job, but it is fine. And I’m good at it. What were you doing before getting helped by the facility?”

“You mean getting trapped and jailed like a bad dog by the fucking facility.” Nigel corrected. “I was into business. Buying and selling various things.”

“It doesn’t sound very interesting.”

“Sometimes boring, sometimes great. Never the same.”

“You are not from the US, are you?”

“No, from Romania. I arrived here a few weeks ago. My business, my friends, my life... everything stayed back there. I have nothing left.” Nigel regretted.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. Sorry, I shouldn’t have talked about this. Your turn! Tell me a bit more about your life.”

“There is no much to say. I work, I come back home and I read or watch something about space or a series. Sometimes, I build models. And sometimes, I see Beth.”

“Who’s Beth?”

“My friend. We have been together for a while, but it didn’t work. I was not the person she wanted. She is a neutral, but it’s her who told me it would be a good idea to come today.”

“I’ll thank her for that if I ever meet her. I’m glad you came.”

“She always says it would be good for me to find a submissive. She was already saying it before we got together, and she restarted to talk about it as soon as we broke up. It’s true that it would be easier for the appartment.”

“I don’t understand why having a sub would be easier for an appartment. You have a fucking big appartment and you don’t find enough time to tidy it, and having someone to help would be great?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I am well organized and have a planning for chores, so even if it’s big, I manage to tidy it. No, it’s just that my boss told me I would maybe lose my job soon.”

Nigel looked at Adam without answering. First it was about a friend named Beth, then his appartment, and now about his job? Where was the logic in there?

“I’m so sorry.” Adam apologized when he saw that Nigel wasn’t at all following his train of thoughts. “I’m sorry, I’m not good with these social things, and I’m not really used to talk with people. I’m sorry, it’s...”

“It’s fine.” Nigel assured. “Calm down, there is nothing to be sorry about. Start by the beginning. You don’t really want a sub, but it would be easier for your appartment if you had one. But it’s not about the appartment itself, it’s about your job. Am I right?”

Adam nodded.

“Continue then.” Nigel encouraged him.

“My boss said I could lose my job. I would have to find a new one, and I’m not talented at all for interviews, phone calls, and all of these things. So I would risk to not be able to afford to stay in this appartment.” Adam explained, reassured that Nigel was not mad at him for his lack of communication skills. “But if I had a sub, I would have a longer delay before losing it, even if I wasn’t able to pay anymore. It’s written in the laws about submissives’ protection, because they are supposed to be fragile and to need to be protected.” He glanced at Nigel. He didn’t really look fragile. “It would be a bit like using someone to keep this appartment, but as long as the person is aware of that, I don’t think it would be a problem.”

“Ah, yes, I understand better now. Yeah, with a sub, you would have more time to find a new job without being afraid of being evicted. Sounds fucking logical to me.”

Adam smiled, relieved that Nigel wasn’t disgusted by this way of seeing a possible dom-sub relationship.

“Is this Beth a sub?” Nigel asked by pure curiosity.

“No, she is a neutral. And Harlan too.”

“Who’s Harlan? Another friend of yours?”

“Yes, he was a friend of my dad’s before his death, but we stayed in contact after. I don’t have a lot of friends, but Harlan is great. And Beth is... errr... sometimes she is nice.”

“Sometimes?” Nigel chuckled.

“Yes, but not always. She told me many hurtful things.”

A staff member soon informed them that the meeting was over for today. They both stood up, and Adam clumsily shook Nigel’s hand.

“They told us I could ask to visit you again, if that’s ok for you?” Adam asked.

“Totally ok, it was nice and I’d like to see you again.”

“Great! I work during the week, but I’ll come back next Saturday.”

“I can’t wait.” Nigel’s answer was genuine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huuuuge thank you for your comments on the previous chapters, they give me life! It’s very reassuring to know I can write something good enough that it makes people want to comment it <3 you maybe know that I also write novels (in French) and never having answers from publishers, except automatic no’s without justification or advice to improve my work, is very demotivating, and it makes me doubt my writing a lot. Am I good enough? Can I write something interesting? Or am I just a scam, writing stupid novels nobody wants?   
> Publishers never answer and maybe my novels are super bad, but thanks to your comments, I know I can write interesting stories <3
> 
> Adam’s struggles with the lights and the noise are based on my own struggles, as it’s not very described in the movie.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next Saturday is so far...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not beta-read, and English is still not my native language

As Adam had expressed interest for Nigel, the staff had given him a copy of his file. He wasn’t sure if it was to convince him to get closer to Nigel, or if it was to make him run away as fast as possible.

Back at his appartment this evening after the speed dating, Adam decided to postpone the documentary he had planned to watch. It would still be time to watch it the next day, and he was very curious to read Nigel’s file, even if the words “Feral sub, proceed with caution” were written on the cover.

The file contained a lot of paper sheets, mostly journals about his behavior. Has fought with the guards, has been chained to the wall, has insulted this person and this one, has refused to answer questions... the list was very long, and not very interesting. Adam stopped reading it after a few lines. It was informations about Nigel himself that he wanted, not to know that he didn’t deal very well with being imprisoned.

The personnal informations part of the file was disappointing, as Nigel had apparently refused to answer to almost every questions. Adam only learnt that he had a brother, that he had been married to a woman but that they had divorced, and that he never had a dom.

And also that what was getting him under, into what some people called sub space, what was bringing him down, was pain.

That wasn’t a bad discovery at all, to say the least. Adam remembered he had almost added something about kinky scenes in the list of what his perfect sub would like.

He forced himself to focus. He wanted a roommate who would be a sub, to help him save his appartment. Not someone to take care of, to protect, to discipline. To dominate. He didn’t want a sub in the classical way.

Or maybe he did.

***

The days had never been short at the facility, and the time was going even slower this week. The cute spaceman had said that he would come back on the next saturday, and it was so long to wait, to just be there, jailed, and to have to dodge Smith’s questions.

At least, Nigel had finally be able to send Darko an email. The first lines were mainly insults. Not that it would change anything, but it had been so fucking good to spit his rage. He had also asked Darko to get him out of there at any cost. And a very quick and tiny thank, not about the facility, but to have avoided him the police and a trial.

Maybe Darko had already answered, Nigel had no idea. Smith hadn’t told him, and Nigel was suspecting that it was just a way to control his behavior. Hoping he would behave to get the answer.

Needless to say it wasn’t working very well, and Nigel was as rude as usual.

As the days went by slowly, Nigel was constantly wondering what he should do with Adam. Should he push his luck and try to become this guy’s sub, to finally escape this place? He seemed to be a decent guy, nice, and different from the other doms. But it would still mean being _owned_ by someone.

Professor Smith had told him several times that he was severely touch starved and had offered him solutions to deal with that. Nigel had of course said it was just bullshit, had refused his help and was pushing back as hard as he could every single little try from the guards or the staff to touch him.

Adam had touched him. Just his hand, when he had shaken it to say goodbye. Days after, it was like Nigel could still feel it, still feel the contact of Adam’s hand in his own.

It would probably be nice, to feel that again.

***

During the whole week, Adam did his best at his job, as usual and even more, accumulating extra hours. Maybe it would be enough to convince his boss to not fire him. The bad side was that it had changed his routines, and tired him even more than a regular week.

When he came back home on the Friday evening, relieved to have finally finished his week of work, Beth was waiting for him in front of the door. Adam suddenly realized that he hadn’t given her news at all during the week, as he had been too busy with his work. He explained that to her, and apologized profusely.

“It’s ok!” She immediately reassured him. “I figured out that it was something like that when I saw that you were coming home later than usual, especially since you had told me that you were worried about losing your job.”

“I’m still worried about that, but I hope my extra work this week will convince them to keep me.” He sighed, exhausted.

His keys were at the usual place in his pocket, and he opened the door. “Do you want to get in to talk?”

“Yes, sure.” She smiled. “But I won’t stay for too long. I have a party tonight and you seem very tired, I will let you rest. Except if you want to come with me?”

“I don’t.”

She followed him inside and let him close the door.

“So, tell me? How was it?”

“How was what? My week?”

“No, silly, the speed dating! It’s been almost a week, and you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Ah, yes. The lights were too bright and there was too much noise. I was not comfortable at all. But it went ok with the people who were there.”

“And did you meet someone? A nice sub?”

“Most of them didn’t even care about space!”

“You tried to flirt at a speed dating by talking about space? Really?” She asked, not surprised, but a bit disappointed.

“Of course. If this person takes a big part in my life, it’s important that we like the same things.” Adam answered very logically. “And space is always interesting.”

“It makes sense but it’s not a good way to flirt.”

“You say that because you don’t care about space.”

“I say that because that’s what most normal people think. You can trust me, talking about space is not flirting.”

“One person, one of the submissives who were there, said it was interesting.”

“Oh really? That’s great! And... did you like this person? Did you only talk about space?”

“No, we talked about the fact that I don’t want a submissive.”

“Seriously?” Beth asked. Adam was such a catastrophe for all these things... maybe she should have came with him.

“Yes. But it’s ok, because he doesn’t want a dom either.”

“He?”

“Yes, he is a man.”

“How is he?” She asked, curious. She hadn’t imagined that the person Adam was talking about could be a man.

“Taller than me, and he looks strong. He smokes, and he swears all the time. I don’t know yet if he could be my submissive, it’s too early to tell. I don’t even know if I would want that. I need to know him better before. For now, I’m just considering him as friendly. I’m going back to the facility tomorrow to see him.”

“He doesn’t seem to be a sub... at least, not a typical one.”

“No, he is not a typical sub. Which is good, because I’m not a typical dom.”

***

As promised, Adam came back to the facility. There were still guards in the room where they met, but it was not the room were the speed dating had taken place. It was a much smaller meeting room, with cosy light and, luckily, only them. And the guards, of course. But they both did their best to ignore them. Adam sat with his hands crossed on his knees, and Nigel sat like if he was owning the place.

“You are chained to the wall.” Adam noted. “You weren’t, during the speed dating.”

“The room wasn’t adapted to that. This one is.”

“It’s not very nice of them.”

“It’s for your safety, and ours.” One of the guards said, interrupting their conversation. “He attacks everybody, both when he has control over himself or when he has lost it.”

“Not everybody.” Nigel corrected. “Only assholes like you.”

None of the guards would hit him while Adam was here, it wouldn’t be good for the public image of the facility, even if it was their right to act like that with a feral sub. Nigel hid his smile. The presence of this little weird spaceman, who had nothing of the traditionnal strong dominant, was protecting him. It was very unexpected.

“You seem tired.” Nigel told Adam when the guard retreated in a corner of the room.

“I worked more than usual this week, to try to convince my boss to keep me.”

“And did it work? Did your boss said something?”

“No,” Adam answered, happy that Nigel was asking about that, as Beth hadn’t. “but maybe next week. I don’t know. Oh, I was going to forget... I brought you something.”

Adam fumbled in his bag and gave Nigel a brand new copy of “Space exploration for the dummies.”

“This book doesn’t go very far in the explanations, but it’s a base, and it’s a nice read.” Adam exposed. “Last week, you said you knew nothing about space, but that you would like to know more. And you must be very bored here, so...”

“Thank you, Gorgeous, that’s super nice of you! I never read it, and I’m sure it will be interesting.” More than the gift itself, Nigel was appreciating that Adam had remembered that, and had wanted to make his life less miserable by bringing him entertainment.

“That’s what I told Beth! But she said I shouldn’t have talked about space during the speed dating.”

“You talk about whatever the fuck you want during a speed dating. Space is important for you, so why not talking about it?”

Remembering how great it has been to have Adam touching his hand at the end of the speed dating, Nigel leaned on his forearms on the table. If he was comfortable as they were talking about space, maybe...

“She said that it was not what normal people were doing. She often says things like that, even when we were together. That’s probably why we broke up.”

“What does she mean by normal people?” Adam seemed hurt by what this Beth Whatever had said, and Nigel didn’t like that. He shouldn’t have cared, Adam was nothing for him. But he seemed genuinely nice, and that was so fucking uncommon for people in general, and even more for a dom, that it was making Nigel angry to think this girl had hurt his feelings.

Adam hesitated. Nigel was looking unhappy, maybe even slightly angry, and he didn’t know why. He was just hoping it wasn’t against him.

Should he answer that what Beth meant by normal people was non autistic people, not him? Maybe Nigel would stop talking with him. Maybe he would consider him as stupid, or worse, and that would hurt.

He could lie and mask his autism as much as he could. But it would hurt him too, and he couldn’t do that forever, it would be visible one day or another. And he didn’t want to lie to Nigel. He didn’t know him very well yet, but he liked the swearing Romanian, and it would hurt to see him being disgusted by who Adam was. It was not something uncommon, to see people’s attitude changing as soon as they knew he was autistic.

But it was probably better to tell him now, before getting too attached. If Nigel was pushing him away, he could leave while having lost only two afternoons and a book in this affair.

“She means neurotypical people, non autistic people. Not... people like me.” Adam finally answered nervously, biting his lip. His hands were still on his knees, and Nigel dropped the idea of trying to have a contact. Adam seemed too much in distress for that.

“You are autistic?”

“Yes, I am. Asperger, but this word is not used anymore. It’s a type of autism.”

“I heard about it on tv once or twice, but I don’t know much about it. Would you explain please, if that’s ok for you? I don’t want to bother you with that,” Nigel added “you already seem fucking hurt by her words.”

“It’s ok, I’m used to it.”

“Fuck that, you shoudn’t.”

Adam nervously rubbed his hands over his trousers, and proceeded to explain what autism was to Nigel, and more precisely what was asperger autism. He described his sensory issues, the difficulties he had with social interactions, and also talked about stimming, meltdowns and specific interests. He could have given more details and had probably forgot a lot of things, but it was not a bad summary.

“And she is giving you a hard time over that?” Nigel asked, careful to not show his anger to not upset Adam. “You said she was your friend, but she sounds like a giant fucking jerk.”

“She probably is. At least a bit. As I said, I’m not good identifying these things.”

“I’ll tell you if I meet her one day. For now, consider her a bit like a giant fucking jerk. Just in case.”

Adam laughed and nodded. He liked Beth of course, but the insult was maybe adapted sometimes.

“She also said that you weren’t a typical sub.”

“She is fucking right on this one. What did you answer?”

“That it was a good thing because I was not a typical dom either.”

“Very good thing you’re not a typical dom yeah. Most of them are assholes.”

“That’s why you never wanted one?”

“Yeah. And I’ve never wanted to be fucking owned by someone. I want to be free. And also... nobody knew I was a fucking sub, in my previous life.”

“Nobody? That must have been hard to never be able to be yourself. I know it is hard, to have to hide your true self.”

“Well, almost nobody. Two people knew. My brother, and my wife.”

“You are married?” Adam had read it in the file, but he still felt his heart drop a bit. Not that he was that much interested by Nigel but...

“I have been married, but we divorced years ago. She was a neutral, and left me for another neutral, a greasy one. And we never talked about this. She knew, that’s all. Same for my brother. He knew, but that’s all.”

“So you never had anyone to bring you down and take care of you? And that’s why you lost your control over yourself?”

“Yeah. And now I’m chained to the wall like an unwanted bad dog.”

“I like dogs. Even bad ones. There are no bad dogs, just dogs who had bad luck.”

It was a good thing that Adam had explained him that he didn’t have a lot of social filters when he was talking, and that he was never lying. And also that he was clumsy in his words.

“Are you trying to tell me that you could like me, despite that?” Nigel asked while gesturing to the leash chaining him to the wall.

“Yes. Sorry, I didn’t know how to say it.”

“No need to be sorry, you were totally understantable. I was just making sure.”

Adam smiled at him, a big, genuine smile lighting up his whole face. His clumsy words of affection were understandable. If he had dared to, he would have hugged Nigel. But he wasn’t sure he would have liked that. Plus, the guards were still here, looking at Nigel like he was going to try to kill someone at any second. They would probably not let him do that.

“The time is almost over. Only a few minutes left.” A guard informed them.

“What would it fucking change for you to let us more time to talk?” Nigel asked.

“It’s the rule. Meetings between a dom and a feral sub placed under the facility’s protection are always short.”

“You know what you can do with your fucking rules?”

“Calm down, Nigel.” Adam asked. “Rules are important, you shouldn’t go against them.”

“If you say so...”

Adam stoop up, and picked his jacket and bag.

“I’ll come back next Saturday.” He promised.

“My favorite day of the week.” Nigel smiled.

“Really? Why?”

“Because you’re coming, of course.”

“Oh. Oh, that’s nice. Thank you. It will become my favorite day too then.”

Should he hug Nigel, as he wanted to do just before? The guards would maybe let it go, as it was classic for people to shake hands or hug or kiss to say goodbye.

Nigel clearly wanted to hug Adam, and maybe more, just to be touched by another human. A cute space human he liked. That was even better. But Adam had said that he could have troubles with contact sometimes. It was probably better to not do anything. Next time would be easier. He stood up too and extended his hand. With the collar and the chain, he couldn’t walk toward Adam and had to wait here, and to let him decide what to do.

Nigel was handsome. Nigel found space interesting. Nigel was friendly and nice with him, and a bastard with the others.

Adam breathed deeply and took a chance. He closed the space between them in two steps and hugged briefly Nigel, waiting to be pushed away at any time.

But Nigel didn’t push him away. He hugged Adam back, and let him go when he heard the guards starting to move.

Adam left the room with a smile and a wave.

Next Saturday was fucking far away.

***

Three weeks after their first meeting, on his way to home the Monday evening, Adam got the surprise to receive a phone call from the professor Smith, who, after explaining who he was, described how dangerous, evil and unpredictable Nigel was.

“You keep him in a cell or even chained to a wall, so of course he is getting aggressive.” Adam answered. “You are treating him like a dangerous animal, it’s normal that he is not reacting very well.”

“We are treating him like a dangerous animal because that is what he is. Did he tell you how he arrived at our facility?”

“No, we haven’t talked about that. I know he comes from Romania, but that’s all. And it’s not detailed in the file you gave me.”

“His brother placed him in our care after a desastrous night when he lost his control so much that he injured people.” Smith explained. “And he doesn’t even remember that. This guy is so stubborn that he has refused any care from a dom during his entire life. It’s very bad for his health, and it can lead to events like this, a normal human sub turning into a feral beast. Of course, most of the time, he has control over his own actions. But if he was to lose it again... we need to keep him in a cell and to supervise him the whole time.”

“If he had a dom... would this feral side disappear?”

“Yes, it would regulate him. And I have to admit that he is calmer since you’re coming, your presence clearly has a positive effect on him.”

“Even if I’m not officially his dom?”

“His mind and body seem to react like if you were, that’s all I can say. But, if you wish to continue to see him, and even more if you wish to make him your submissive, you’ll have keep in mind that he is still dangerous.”

“I know. I’ll still come to see him on Saturday. I don’t know if I would be a good dom for him, and I don’t even really want a sub, so I don’t know if I would want him as my sub. But... maybe it could work, Nigel and I.”

“Maybe.” Smith approved. “If it is what you want, I hope it will work. Continue to come to meet him, and you’ll know if you want to try to go on this path.”

“Does Nigel get to have an opinion in this?”

“As a feral sub, not really.” Smith answered after a short hesitation, a bit ashamed to have to admit that the law was removing his rights to a human.

“I’ll ask him, then. Maybe.”

“You could come with a friend, or someone from your family. It could help you getting decided if you had another opinion, especially from someone close to you.”

Adam hanged up shortly after.

He liked Nigel, even if he still didn’t know him a lot. And the idea of having Nigel as his sub was... strangely pleasing. Even if it would just be a line on an official paper, and not a classic dom/sub relationship, as Nigel didn’t want that.

But maybe he was totally heading in the wrong direction. Maybe Nigel wasn’t at all thinking about that and was just enjoying to have visits, no matter from who. How could he be sure of that? He knew he was far from being the best for social skills.

Smith’s suggestion was maybe a good idea. He could bring someone with him the next Saturday, and this person could help him to understand the situation.

Harlan had already told him that he wouldn’t be there on the next weekend, a dinner with old friends he had told Adam about several times since weeks.

Adam sighed. Maybe Beth would come with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adam uses the word « masking » when he thinks about his autism: « Masking » is the term used to mean « hiding your autism ». That’s what a lot of autistic people do in daily life, to be more accepted. But it’s exhausting, can be harsh on health, and there is always a moment when you forget to mask, and act not like you should. So... Adam could mask to hide his autism from Nigel, but it would be hard for him, and it wouldn’t work forever.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is coming back to the facility with Beth this time. Will it go as bad as expected?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you for the comments and kudos <3
> 
> Not beta-read

“He doesn’t look like a sub.”

That had been the first thing Beth had said when Adam had shown her a picture of Nigel he had found into his file. He hadn’t given her the full file, surprising himself by the hint of jealousy he had felt at this idea.

He had asked her if she could come with him, and she had immediately accepted. And now, Adam was spending his Friday evening with her to try to explain what was going on. Without admitting that he would maybe like to consider Nigel as his sub and not only as a practical roommate who would help him keeping his appartment.

“I know. And he doesn’t act like one either. But I like him, he is nice with me. And he said that space was interesting.” Adam answered.

“You can’t build a whole relationship on the fact that he said that space was interesting.”

“No, but it’s a good start.”

“Maybe. He seems handsome, even he is unusual for a sub. Hard to tell with only this picture.”

“He is handsome in reality too. Like... very. I think he won’t like you a lot, but I didn’t know who else I could ask for help. Harlan is seeing old friends this weekend.”

“Glad to hear I’m not the one you have chosen first to help you with this, but the one you are stuck with...”

“What do you mean?” Adam asked, frowning his brows. “You are my friend, of course I would chose you first to help me. It’s just that I can’t chose both Harlan and you first, it wouldn’t make any sense.”

“Nevermind.” She huffed. “You said he probably wouldn’t like me. Why?”

“I told him that you had told me I shouldn’t talk about space to flirt.” Adam answered, prefering to not precise that they had also talked about her reactions and comments about his autism.

“I am still sure to be right.”

“He disagrees. And he... err... he swears a lot. Like, really a lot. So he did it also about that, and about you.”

“He seems charming... I’ll see when I’ll meet him, but for now, I don’t think he would be a good sub for you. He seems too aggressive, you are not strong enough to deal with that.”

***

Nigel had waited impatiently the whole week to see his spaceman, and seeing him coming in with somebody else wasn’t exactly pleasing. But it was still better than to not see him.

He stood up when Adam arrived near him and hugged him briefly, focusing on the present moment to keep in his memory the feeling of Adam hugging him back.

“Beth, this is Nigel. Nigel, this is Beth, my friend. I told you about her.”

“Ah yes, the fucking great friend.” Nigel grinned ironically. He politely extended his hand to shake hers, but she didn’t make a move. Nigel put his hand back in his pocket after a second, and sat.

“It’s just that I don’t trust you enough for this.” She explained. “The guards explained us that you were very aggressive, before we came in, and they are still there. And Adam told me you were feral. So I prefer being careful.”

Nigel shrugged, not giving a single fuck about what she was thinking.

“How was your week?” He asked to Adam, ignoring Beth.

“Good, I finished an important part of the project I’m working on. Maybe it will convince my boss to keep me.”

“I hope. Tell him I’ll find him and break his fucking knees if he doesn’t.” Nigel grinned. “Sarcasm, of course. I wouldn’t make you lose your job because I attacked your boss.”

Adam smiled. Of course he had understood that it was just a joke, but he was happy that Nigel had explained, without suggesting that he was stupid for not always getting these things. Just a simple explanation, like if he was always explaining his jokes.

“Did you see the raccons?” Nigel asked. Adam had told him about the raccoons of Central Park the previous Saturday with so much love and passion in his voice that he wanted to hear him again talking about them.

“I saw them on Wednesday. They were four and...”

“I thought these raccoons were a kind of a secret for you.” Beth interrupted. “Something you didn’t share with everybody, but only with people you trust.”

“Indeed, I don’t talk about them with a lot of people.”

“Why telling him then? He is nothing for you.”

“Fucking jealous, aren’t you?” Nigel smiled. 

“I like him, so I told him about the raccoons, that’s all.” Adam explained. “Is that a problem?”

“Adam, we have talked about this, especially when we were still together.”

“About the raccoons? Yes, of course we did, I even showed them to you.”

“No, not about these stupid raccoons. About trusting people, and about liking them. You don’t know how to do that. How to like someone, how to express that, let alone loving someone and expressing that. You can’t say that you trust him or like him, you’re not fully aware of what it means. I’m not saying you can’t like something or someone, but that you are doing it differently and it’s...”

“You are totally fucking saying that he can’t like or love. I see that my first opinion about you was the right one.”

“And what was your first opinion about me?”

“That you were a giant fucking jerk.”

Beth breathed deeply twice. She was the adult, the responsible one, in this. Adam was... well, was Adam. And this guy was a sub, so someone a bit inferior, and even worse, a feral one. She had to not react to Nigel’s childish insults, and to protect Adam from this guy.

“Adam, we should go now.”

“What? No, we still have time.”

“Adam, this guy is not good for you. You wanted my opinion to help you getting decided? Here it is.”

“I wanted your help to figure out what to do, what would be the best to do in this situation, how to proceed... Not if he were good or not for me. I know he is.”

“No, you don’t! You can’t!”

“Shut the fuck up, he knows better than you.” Nigel spat.

“No, he doesn’t! He probably didn’t tell you, but he is autistic and...”

“Yeah, I know. We talked about that. And I borrowed a book from Smith about this topic, to understand a bit more. Adam is autistic, but it doesn’t mean he can’t feel.”

“You read a book about autism? To understand me better?” Adam asked, the fight with Beth forgotten, all focused on this strange expression of tender affection.

“I already forgot the title but yes. You had told me more or less everything, but you didn’t have time to give details, so... seemed to be the best solution.”

“That’s... very nice of you. Thank you.”

“I still think he is not made for you.” Beth said. “He has awful manners, especially for a sub. He is aggressive and...”

“Be careful, I bite.” Nigel warned.

“...and there is no way you could manage someone like him. You can’t do that.”

“You should ask Smith for that book.” Nigel suggested. “You would learn a fucking lot in it. Like... that autistic people have feelings. Or that they know themselves if they can do something or not and that they don’t need opinions from fuckers like you. Many things. You would be less stupid after, and the world would feel so fucking better.”

“I’ll wait for you in the corridor.” She declared, and left the room.

“She is not always a great friend.” Adam admitted after a second.

“I would say not often, instead of not always. But yeah. She sucks.”

***

Weeks after weeks, Adam came every Saturday to see Nigel. Always at the exact same hour, which Nigel thought was cute. He never tried again to come with Beth, and she kept trying to convince him that getting close of Nigel would be the worse thing that had ever happened in his life.

Adam disagreed, of course. Even if Nigel didn’t want to get a dom, Adam thought it would be nice to have him as a roommate. He still had his job for now, but maybe it wouldn’t last. And it was becoming frustrating to see him only once a week.

It was especially frustrating this day, because the comfy room where they were usually meeting was not available. A staff had explained to Adam that it was because they had a new speed dating this day, three months after the one where Adam and Nigel had met, and the staff needed this extra room.

The staff member led Adam into another aisle of the facility, the one where Nigel was living. The powerful acrid smell of bleach was coating everything and Adam gagged lightly when the smell hit his nose for the first time. Disgusting.

Between the smell, the grey paint covering all the walls in this aisle and the strong white lamps attached to the ceiling, it was clearly not the best room for a meeting. But the very good side was that there were no guards with them this time.

“Everybody is busy with the speed dating.” The staff had explained to Adam and Nigel before leaving the room. “But if there is any problem, I’ll be in the office just accross the corridor. Some invoices to take care of. Enjoy your time, and see you later.”

The staff closed the door behind her, leaving Adam and Nigel alone together for the first time.

“So... you live in this aisle?” Adam asked shyly. He wasn’t afraid of being alone with Nigel, he knew he wouldn’t hurt him, despite what Beth and the guards and the professor Smith had said several times. But he was a bit nervous.

“Yeah, they lock me up in a cell not far. Same fucking ugly paint, same smell.”

“I hate the smell of bleach. But I’m happy they are letting us alone.”

“Yeah, me too.”

An awkward silence stretched over them for several long seconds.

“Everybody seem to think that it would be a bad thing if you were my sub. Well, officially, I mean. More a roommate in facts. Professor Smith, Beth...”

“I don’t think you should let Beth’s fucking opinion influences you. Maybe she is sometimes friendly or even nice to you, but she has never even tried to understand you, for fuck’s sake. I know she is your friend, but...”

“We often argue. Mainly about you, recently.”

Nigel laughed. “Always happy to be the center of the conversation.”

“Professor Smith’s opinion is more important. If he says I can’t be your dom, he can decide to not release you from here, even if I ask. Should I ask, by the way?”

“Ask what? If they would release me?”

“Yes. If they would release you as my sub, under my responsability. Would you like to be my submissive roommate? Should I ask them to let me have you?”

Nigel wanted to yell that of course goddamnit, ask them! Get me out of there! But that would probably not please Adam, as he didn’t like loud noises.

Adam was clearly waiting for his answer, patiently drumming his fingers on his thighs.

That was a fucking big decision to take. Was he really ready to officially become someone’s sub? To be mated? Tamed? To be owned by someone? Adam had told him it would be a friendly relationship, and that he could sleep on the sofa. He had repeated that he didn’t want a sub in the classical way. Nigel had always answered that he didn’t want a dom in the classical way anyway.

Nigel looked at Adam. He was still drumming on his thighs, letting him as much time as he needed to answer. He was wearing a dark blue sweater over a shirt, something simple, as usual. The only spark of color was a NASA pin, attached near the collar of the sweater. The too strong white light wasn’t doing justice to his dark chocolate curly hair, but Nigel had already spent so many hours watching it that was not a problem.

Adam smiled at him, like if to encourage him to answer.

Was he really ready to become someone’s sub? No, never. But was he ready to become Adam’s sub?

“Yes, ask them. Please.”

Adam’s smile got wider and he patted Nigel’s hand.

“I’m glad. I’ll ask to talk with Smith as soon as possible.”

Nigel nodded. Adam had clearly stated he didn’t want a sub and that their relationship would not be like that. That he wouldn’t dominate him, not take care of him, that they would just be roommates. If it meant seeing Adam every day, Nigel was a hundred percent in this. He would even follow his routines and smoke outside.

He had had many hours, alone in his cell, to think about this relationship. He would never admit it, but if Adam had asked him to be in a classic dom/sub relationship, he would have said yes immediately. Hell, he would even have knelt in front of him to answer. But Adam didn’t want that, Nigel knew it. So he would not push in this direction. Being his roommate would be amazing already.

“I’m just a bit afraid that Smith and the other staff would say no because... err... well, for a dom, I’m not very strong or impressive.” Adam continued. “And for a sub, you are clearly strong. I could never control you physically, I mean, or stop you from doing something like a regular dom would do.”

“You think they could refuse just for that?”

“I’m sure they could, yes. Smith told me a couple of times that I didn’t have the physical strength to handle you. I’m stronger than I look, but they are probably right.”

“Then you would just have to prove them that you can handle me.”

“How?”

Nigel thought for a second before answering. “You should hit me. That’s something doms often do, as a game or as a serious punishment. It wouldn’t surprise anybody to see you punishing your feral sub. Yeah, I think that’s the best solution. When a staff member will be there, or Smith, hit me for a random reason. »

“A random reason... if you swear, for example?”

“Yeah, just any fucking reason a dom would want to punish their sub for. I won’t block the hit or hit you back or anything. I’ll let you do it like a perfect little sub, they should like that. Slap me, punch me... whatever you want.” The idea was even pleasing, said a little voice in Nigel’s head.

“I could also just take you by the arm and force you to sit faster or something like this.” Adam suggested.

“Could work yeah, but I think hitting me would have a greater impact on them. No matter what you’ll choose, I’ll let you do it. No fight, no swearing, nothing.”

When the staff came back later to inform them that the meeting was over, they had started to talk about another topic. It would of course have been a bad thing if the staff knew Adam’s domination over Nigel was staged, and Adam really wanted to talk about his new NASA pin anyway.

“The speed dating is almost over.” The staff told Adam after having left the room, leaving Nigel alone in there. “The guards will come to bring him back to his cell soon.”

“Is the professor Smith available, or is he busy with the speed dating?” Adam asked. It was better to start this stressful processus now, as he was still feeling encouraged by his talk with Nigel.

“He is available, I got him over the phone not long ago. I suppose you want to talk with him? His office is not far, we could go now.”

Adam agreed, and shortly after, the staff was introducing him. It was the first time Adam was initiating a meeting with Smith, and the professor seemed quite pleased about that.

He seemed even more pleased when Adam told him why had asked to see him and he called back the staff to ask her to inform the guards that they had to bring Nigel there as soon as possible.

“According to his unusual situation, I need to ask you if you are sure you want to make him your submissive?” Smith asked. “You read his file, we talked a lot about him, even about what’s not in the file, you visited with a friend and it went bad, so you know he is clearly not a typical sub. He has the physical caracteristics and needs of a sub, the chemical balances and everything. But he lived his whole life as a neutral, and... well, you know how it ended.”

“Yes, I’m aware of all of that.”

“I knew you were, but I just wanted to be sure. You’re coming here so often just to see him, so of course you are aware of how he is.”

Two guards knocked at the door and let Nigel in. As there was only one chair, he stayed up between Adam and one of the guards.

“There is a trial period.” Smith explained, giving Adam a sheet of paper he had picked in a drawer. “Everything is explained here on the form. It can be stopped at any moment, and we would take him back here, of course. You would just have to call us, and we won’t even ask for a reason if you don’t want to talk about him. It’s generally one month long, but it can be adapted to the situation. We are going to let you a few days to think about it. Send us the form when you’ll be ready. And of course, feel free to call us if you have any question!”

“Ok, thanks. I’ll read that, and probably send it next week.”

“There is no rush, whenever you feel ready will be the best moment! Nigel was a hopeless case when he arrived, and I don’t understand what you’re seeing in him but I’m glad you’re wanting to give him this opportunity.”

“If I may say something...” A guard interrupted them. “It’s a bad idea. Professor, you never had to fight to try to restrain him, and you haven’t witnessed all the fights and problems that happen with him. He is too dangerous to let him go outside without supervision.”

“He’ll have supervision, I’ll be there.” Adam answered, not letting Smith the time to answer himself.

“It’s not enough, he....”

“I wouldn’t be so fucking violent if you all weren’t fucking bastards.” Nigel spat angrily. He had recognized the guard, it was the one he had bit very badly the first time they had forced him to meet Smith. No wonder why he was so wary about him.

“See? You’re probably a great guy, but you’ll never be able to overpower him! No offense, but you look like a pretty weak sub. He almost destroyed my left hand! He broke two of my fingers! He will fight each of your decisions. He is just a wild beast who...”

“Who’s going to fucking break you. Stop talking fucking shit about Adam!”

“Shut up!” The guard yelled. “I’m trying to talk to Mr Raki, not to you.”

“And if you continue, I’m gonna fucking break your other...”

The slap caught Nigel slightly off guard, even if it had been his idea. Adam had jumped from his chair and was looking at him like a perfect, and angry, dom. Considering the way he was interacting with the guard, he had seen it coming.

Smith was looking a bit surprised, but positively.

That wasn’t a good reason to stop a well needed threat against this fucking guard.

“...fucking hand for fucking real and I’ll...”

Adam grabbed Nigel’s arm to make him spin around. He had feared Nigel would resist but, according to what he had said earlier, he let Adam lead him.

The three rapid spanks Adam laid on his ass caught him _totally_ off guard. Nobody had never dared doing that to him, and he even refused to refer in his head to what had just happened with the word _spanking_.

He was sure Adam would stop after the slap, and this was more than unexpected. Both to him and to Adam, who wasn’t sure it was him who had really done that.

The guards, expecting of course a very bad and violent reaction from Nigel, got ready to fight to defend both Smith and Adam, weapons in their hands.

Pushing his luck, Adam grabbed the collar of Nigel’s shirt and pulled him toward him. Still astonished, Nigel followed the move and let Adam force him to kneel on the floor in front of him.

“Quiet, now.” Adam ordered. He rubbed his hand on his jeans.

Nigel stayed quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter showing a tiny bit of dominance from Adam on Nigel! And it’s already chapter 6 ^^’ but I like to build stories slowly, and these two need time to figure everything out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to bring Nigel home!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so so thankful for all your comments <3
> 
> Not beta-read

“I can’t believe this day is happening! I’m very happy for you, Adam.”

On this Saturday morning, Harlan was driving Adam to the facility to pick Nigel up. Of course he could have came by the bus, as usual, but he had thought that it would maybe be easier if he didn’t have to deal with the stress of the day, the stress of having soon someone living with him, even if this someone was Nigel, and on top of that the stress of taking the public transport.

Harlan had immediately suggested to drive him when Adam had told him he and Nigel had taken a decision.

“And I’m glad to be the one accompanying you for this!” Harlan continued. “I can’t wait to meet your boy.”

“He is not a classical sub at all.”

“Yes, you told me that. And what? I don’t see any problem in this. You like him, he is nice with you, you will have a roommate who will also be a sub, even if not your sub, and you will keep your appartment thanks to that! It’s not important that he is not a classical sub, I’m sure he will bring a lot of good things in your life.”

“Thank you. I don’t think he would like it if you call him “my boy”.”

“I won’t, don’t worry. Probably an old man’s habit to call a younger sub like this, even if he is not that young.”

A couple minutes later, Harlan parked his car in front of the facility. There was no speed dating this day, and the parking lot was almost empty.

“Adam, before you go, I wanted to tell you something. I hesitated a lot before telling you that, but I think it’s the best moment to do it. I know that this guy, this Nigel, is not a classical sub at all. I know that he can be violent, agressive, and that they had a lot of problems at the facility with that. You told me all of that, and you were right to inform me. I know that technically he will be your sub, that you theorically will have control over him. But what if you don’t? What if he becomes violent again?”

Harlan sighed, careful to not hurt Adam’s feelings with his words.

“At any time, day or night, if you have any problem with him, if he scares you, if he becomes violent or whatever... call me, ok? At any time, really. Just call or text, and I’ll come as fast as I can. And I don’t care about the laws protecting of the subs. If there is a problem, I’ll come and knock him out. Just call, I’ll be there.”

“I hope it will never be necessary but... thank you, Harlan.” Adam smiled.

“You’re welcome! Any time, remember. Don’t hesitate. Even if I of course hope too that it will never be necessary. You should go now, or you’re going to be late.”

There were many papers to sign, and Adam felt like it was going to last forever. Harlan was probably bored in his car, and Nigel was probably angry at the staff, as usual. But Adam wanted to be sure of what he was doing before signing anything, and he read every single document from the start to the end. Trial period form. First contract. Explanations about the real contract, at the end of the trial one. Nigel’s file. A list of his belongings, that was quite short. Rights and obligations he had about Nigel from now. What he was allowed to do to him as his legal owner, namely almost everything except killing him or hurting him too badly.

It took over an hour, but at the very end, everything was signed and ready.

“Does Nigel have things to sign too?” Adam asked to the staff.

“Only the trial contract for now, and it has very little legal value. A feral sub doesn’t have rights over a lot of things. You own this submissive and his rights now, for a trial of three months.”

Adam gulped and nodded. The period of trial was longer than announced, but it was probably due to Nigel’s peculiar behavior.

He didn’t like the idea of legally owning Nigel, but it was the law and there was no other choice. Most doms were letting their sub having a job, getting outside, opening a bank account... but by old laws, they were allowed to refuse them everything. Adam had never heard about someone following these laws, but there was probably an old dom still following them somewhere.

“Everything is ok!” The staff declared after having check Adam’s signatures. “I’ll ask the guards to bring you your sub.”

She picked her phone and called another staff located in the other aisle of the facility.

Adam noted, without telling it, that as soon as he had signed the papers, the staff had stopped calling Nigel by his name. His sub, the sub, Mr Raki’s sub... she was using various expressions while talking over the phone, but never his name.

He remembered that he had read something about this on the web. Some doms were so possessive that hearing a neutral, or, worse, another dom, using their sub’s name was considered as rude. The staff was probably doing that to avoid upsetting Adam, just in case he would be one of these doms. But Adam didn’t care. He would have preferred if she had used Nigel’s name because it was more polite, and because owning a human wasn’t making any sense to him.

But he said nothing. It was not the right moment to make someone see that he was not a classical dom, and that he was waiting for his roommate and not for his possession.

The guards came back soon with Nigel, and he signed the trial period contract without reading it. A staff unclasped the thick collar he had been wearing since his first day at the facility, and finally set him free.

Adam watched Nigel who was carefully touching his neck where the collar was. It had been aesthetically pleasing, Adam thought. A lot of subs were wearing collars, hidden under their clothes or proudly displayed, to show they were mated. It was not a legal obligation, just something a lot of submissive people liked to do. Adam wondered if Nigel would be the type of sub to like that, and immediately did his best to forget this thought. Nigel would be his roommate, not his sub.

They left the facility with a cardboard box containing Nigel’s stuff, and all the signed papers Adam still had in his hand. Arriving on the parking lot, Nigel stopped.

“Is there a problem?” Adam asked. “Harlan’s car is just there, we won’t have to walk very far.”

“No problem at all.” Nigel smiled. “I’m just so fucking happy to be outside! To breath air that doesn’t smell like fucking bleach!”

“You didn’t get outside since you arrived?”

“Nah, too risky, they said. They thought I could have escaped. And they were right, I would have tried. Let’s not make your friend wait for too long. I’ll enjoy being outside later.”

When he saw them getting near the car, Harlan got out to greet Nigel and shake his hand.

“Hello! I’m Harlan Keyes, a friend of Adam. Nice to meet you!”

“Nigel Amortalis. Nice to meet you, and thanks for coming today.”

“You’re welcome! You only have that?” Harlan asked, pointing the box in Nigel’s hands. “No suitcase or something?”

“No, only that. I don’t even know what’s inside, I didn’t have it when I was still imprisoned and I didn’t have access to any personnal belongings.”

“Maybe the clothes you had on you when they arrested you?” Adam suggested.

“Ah yes, maybe. I’ll open it later.”

Getting in the car got more complicated than expected.

Harlan was driving, of course.

Adam had read that it was more polite to let your guest sitting in front. But subs were usually sitting in the back. But he didn’t want to make Nigel feel like just a sub. But himself didn’t like sitting in the back, he was easily sick.

Nigel solved the problem by sitting on the back seat.

“But... are you sure...?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, don’t worry. Go in front. I’m not sick in the back of a car, and I actually don’t care about the place where I’m sitting. Usually, in a car, I drive.”

***

Harlan left soon after having dropped them at Adam’s, and after having reminded him that he would come to help at any time.

“I have a lot of routines and habits, and I won’t change them now that you’re here.” Adam explained while showing the appartment to Nigel.

“We talked about that and it’s fine for me, don’t worry. And I’ll smoke at the window.”

“Thank you! I don’t cook, but you can, if you want. I suppose you want to be alone a little bit... I’ll be in my room, you could stay in the living room.”

“Sure.” Nigel answered. He didn’t want to stay alone, not after so many months locked away, without any other human contacts than his fights with the guards and his talks with Smith. But maybe Adam had suggested that because himself wanted to be alone for a while.

In the book Professor Smith had lent him, Nigel had read that autistic people often had troubles with changes and surprises. After having lived alone since years, it was probably hard for Adam to have Nigel here, changing so many things in his life, even if he wanted him to live here.

Coming to Adam’s room right now to tell him he would do his best to not change his routines wasn’t a good idea at all. If Adam needed some quiet time, Nigel would let him.

Instead, he sat on the couch and opened the box. A sheet of paper glued on the top indicated that the box’ content was what he had on him when he had been arrested, and a package sent by his pretended brother.

Nigel quickly removed the folded clothes from the box to reach the package and checked it thoroughly. After a few minutes, it appeared that the package hadn’t been opened by the facility staff or by anybody since Darko had sealed it. There were littles marks on and around the tape keeping it close, a trick Darko and him had used several times when they wanted each other to be sure that nobody had interfered with a package they had sent.

There was a knife in the pocket of the folded jeans and Nigel used it to quickly open Darko’s package. If he had sent him something in such a discreet way, and with their usual marks to let Nigel know that nobody had touched it, it was probably important.

Inside the box was a pack of cigarettes, a list of names and contacts in the US, most of them that Nigel already knew about, several fake IDs and licences, three SIM cards he could use and destroy if needed, around two thousands dollars in cash and a gun. Nigel huffed a laugh. It was almost like if Darko was welcoming him into a new life in the US. He had everything he needed to go right back into the business if he wanted to. He was not sure he wanted to, not yet. After so many months locked in a cell, he had planned to enjoy life a little bit before probably getting back to his previous lifestyle. Or maybe finding a legal job. Adam would certainly prefer that.

Nigel shook his head. He was free now, he didn’t have to please Adam anymore so he would get him out. He had repeated that in his own head several times, that everything he was doing, he was doing it just to convince Adam to help him escape the facility. Not at all because he was appreciating him! Nigel, liking this strange space nerd? Accepting to be someone’s sub? No way. No, it was just to use Adam to get out.

Nigel sighed. He was so, so fucked. He could never convince anybody of that, not even himself. It was true that, at first, he had only seen an escape in Adam. But it hadn’t lasted for long. He genuinely liked him. Maybe even loved him. He wasn’t sure and didn’t want to think about it. He was supposed to be a dangerous gangster, not a sub happy to be sitting on his dom’s couch for the first time.

Adam didn’t want a sub, nor a lover. Just someone to help him keep his appartment and to talk about space with. A roommate. A friend. Not a lover. Not a sub. If Nigel admitted that he wanted more of their relationship, it would probably break everything they had.

He wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t say anything. And he would enjoy living near Adam and seeing him every day, even if it would never go further.

Love was dangerous for Nigel. Darko had once told him that love was burning him, marking him with passion and pain. And he was right. There was no light love and easy feelings with Nigel.

Love was dangerous for Nigel and for the ones he loved. But this burning love had always been part of him, and it would always be. Maybe he loved Adam. Surely. But he wouldn’t admit it, because he was not supposed to. And because it would be dangerous for both of them to do so.

Things weren’t supposed to go like that, but life had gotten in the way.

Nigel got up from the couch and slowly paced around the room. Everything here was so Adam, and so was what he had seen of the other rooms of the appartment. DVDs and books carefully places on shelves, scale models representing space vehicles... all clean, tidy and without a single spot of dust. There was also a little representation of the solar system, attached at the very end of a shelf. Several plastic balls figuring the planets were attached in a way that it was possible to make them spin around another plastic ball, bigger and yellow, figuring the Sun. Nigel pushed Mars slightly and watched it turning slowly around the Sun for half a round.

It was a good way to represent what his relationship with Adam could be. Himself, violent, aggressive, represented by Mars, the planet related to the god of war. And Adam as his Sun, the center of his life. That was a pleasing image. Cheesy as fuck of course, but pleasing. It wouldn’t happen, but it was kind of nice to imagine it.

“It is not accurate.” Adam said just behind Nigel, startling him. “The scale is not respected, and the planets don’t all turn at the same time.”

“It still looks nice.”

“Yes, it does. It’s a gift from Harlan, last Christmas.”

Nigel pushed Mars again without a word.

“I hadn’t heard you getting in the room.” He said after a while.

“I didn’t do anything to be discreet, but you were lost in your thoughts, it seems.”

Nigel heard footsteps and turned his head just in time to experience the horror of seeing Adam getting near the couch. Fuck. He hadn’t put away any of Darko’s gifts, and that was certainly not going to please his host.

“Is this a gun?” Adam asked with a surprised voice.

“Err... yeah. Not charged.” He precised.

“Why?”

“It was with my stuff, in the box the facility gave me when we left.”

“I don’t like guns.” Adam said, slumping on the couch. “And these are... IDs? Different IDs, all with your face on them? Are these... fake?”

“Yeah. Forged IDs.” Fuck, Adam was starting to look suspicious, or maybe even scared. “They are a gift, from Darko.” Nigel explained, trying to not panic.

“Who is Darko?”

“A friend. He sent the package to the facility for me.”

“The facility staff wrote on the box that it was from your brother James. Are you lying to me? I hate lies.”

That was a fucking catastrophe. Now, Adam was looking upset, and worse, disappointed. Maybe the only thing to do was to tell the truth now, to try to fix things before it became worse.

“I don’t have a brother. Darko pretended to be. When I got arrested, he was with me. He even is the one who sent me to the facility. For my fucking safety, according to a letter he left me. And it was less suspicious if a caring big brother was dropping me at the facility to help me, than if it was a friend and business partner. He needed to hide, he needed to run, he couldn’t have the police looking at him, or me, from too close, and he had me, full feral and attacking him, on his hands. So... he pretended that he was my brother. And he let them imprison me. I had months to think about that, and I’m still so fucking angry to him for that! But I admit he didn’t have any other solution. I know I should have told you instead of lying, but I had to keep that secret while I was at the facility. I’m sorry.”

“I hate lies.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

“Why did he send you a gun, fake IDs and a list of phone numbers? And... is this cash money, in the box?”

Adam was looking more and more disappointed each second, so Nigel decided to try something he had never done in his life: telling the truth. All the fucking bloody truth.

They knew each other since over four months now, and Adam was hands down the more genuine person Nigel had ever met. And he hated lies. And he had gotten Nigel out of his miserable life. He owned him the truth.

“Yeah, it’s cash. Around two thousands dollars. There were also three SIM cards in the package.”

“Why? Why sending you that? Why your friend couldn’t have the police looking at you from too close? Why fake IDs? Why numbers and names on a paper? Why cash instead of a bank transfer? Why would a friend send you a gun? How could he even send you that, without the customes stopping the package? Are you some kind of dangerous criminal chased down by policemen in Romania?” Adam had asked the last question as an attempted sarcasm.

“Yes, I am.”

Adam stared at him, as if he was waiting for him to say it was just a joke.

“You got me out of this fucking facility, and I’m very grateful for that. Very happy to be out of there, and to be with you right now. I think... I think I owe you the truth. You accepted me even if I was the bad feral sub chained to a wall, so... yeah, I owe you the truth.”

“No more lies?”

“No, no more lies. Promised. I’m sorry.” That was the first time in his entire life that Nigel was apologizing so much.

Adam would probably kick him out after that, or call the facility, or worse, the police, when he would know who he was. Telling him the truth was a dangerous bet. A bet Nigel was willing to take.

“You’re not going to like my explanation.” Nigel warned.

“I’ll tell you what I think about it after. Explain, now.”

For over half an hour, Adam listened to Nigel telling him everything about his life. His youth, when he had discovered he was a sub and had decided he would hide it forever. The few times when he had indulged into paying someone to beat him, just to fulfill his submissive needs without trusting somebody enough to be brought down. His business with Darko, even the gruesome details, the drug deals and the violence and murders. Gabbi, their life together, his mistakes, their divorce. Why Darko had thought that he would need fake IDs and a gun when he would get out of the facility. What was his life. Who he was.

For over half an hour, Adam didn’t say a word and let Nigel talk. He didn’t interrupt him even when he talked about the people he had killed or the ones he had threatened. He didn’t stop him either when he described his more-than-awful behavior with Gabbi and her American guy. He let him talk, because this time, he was telling the truth.

Adam was maybe not good with people and social interactions, but he had guessed since a while that there was something dark in Nigel’s past. He hadn’t guessed that it was this bad, but he wasn’t that surprised either.

When Nigel stopped talking, Adam didn’t answer immediately, slowly processing everything.

Nigel felt his heart dropping into his chest, but didn’t say a word. He threw the items back into the cardboard box, took his jacket on the couch and headed for the door of the living-room.

Adam caught him by the sleeve of his shirt.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving. And...”

“I didn’t tell you to leave. You’re staying. Sit.”

Nigel stared at him, expressionless. Adam patted the couch near him and Nigel sat, dropping the box and his jacket on the floor. His inner submissive side happily danced inside his heart. He had followed an order from a dom, his dom, and it was making him stupidly happy.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Adam repeated.

“Even after I told you all of that?”

“Especially after you told me all of that.”

“Why? I don’t understand.” Nigel apologized.

“I hate lies. You lied to me, to protect yourself, and I can understand that. When I asked you to tell me the truth about your life, you did. You trusted me enough to do it. That’s way enough for me to accept you. I’m not saying that I approve or even like what you told me but... I’m fine with it.”

“You are sure of that? I’m not a good man.”

“You did bad things. That’s different from not being a good man. And yes, I’m sure I’m fine with that. But I would appreciate it if you weren’t getting back into this business of yours. I mean... not completely.”

“No killing?”

“No killing, no violence, no drugs. Not all the bad things. Running a night club is fine.” Adam listed.

“I’d love to say yes but... that’s all I know. Never worked in something else.”

“Oh it’s fine, you have time and I earn enough money, you don’t have to work for now.”

“I don’t know how to do anything else than threatening people and selling drugs, basically.”

“You’ll learn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter shorter than the others, but necessary to transition from the facility to living at Adam’s :) 
> 
> I chose the title of the fic after writing this chapter

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you’ve enjoyed this first chapter! Several others are already written, but I’ll take my time to edit and post them, to make them as good as possible.
> 
> No Adam in this first chapter, but don’t worry, he’ll arrive soon.


End file.
